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Band 4.5

Some people believe that if people are allowed to work after the age of 60, it could cause problems. Do you agree or disagree?

#people #work #age
Some individuals think that if people will
work
 after the age of 60, it could cause problems. It depends on the country. There are some nations where people can
work
 after 60,
nevertheless
 I think it is not a good with in terms of economics. Because these humans consider elderly, and their health commonly do not permit to
work
. Most of them physically and mentally can no longer
work
. I think it’s best to make the retirement age equal to 60. Because
this
 can lead to unemployment.
Therefore
 the best thing is giving way to young specialists.
For example
: in Russian there are some universities and schools where works elder humans, whose
work
 experience of more than 30. And their teaching method is out of date. The Majority of these teachers can not
work
 with notebooks or other technologies, and they are not able to introduce something new into education. In my opinion,
this
 is one of the reasons why the education sector is not improving, and even in some countries it is even getting worse.
However there
Accept comma addition
However, there
 are humans who can
work
,
although
 there are not many. In conclusion, I would like to highlight that I agree with
this
 statement, and I think that government should pay attention on
this
 more seriously and take on the perspective young professionals.
Submitted by anaraxmedli99 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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