IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Nowadays air travel is cheaper than in the past. Is this a positive or a negative development? Discuss and give your own opinion.

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It is true that because of
traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
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 by
air
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 has become more affordable, more
people
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 are going abroad for their vacations
instead
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 of spending time in their own
country
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. In
this
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 essay, I will discuss both the advantages and disadvantages of
this
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 trend. On the one hand, discounted
air
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 flying gives
people
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 more opportunities to
transit
Verb problem
travel
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 abroad more frequently.
Firstly
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, having an abroad trip could give local
citizen
Fix the agreement mistake
citizens
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 chances to broaden new horizons;
for example
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, they could make new friends with foreigners or promote cultural exchange and mutual understanding.
Secondly
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,
people
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 can save money for other
expenditure
Fix the agreement mistake
expenditures
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 like food or shopping when
while
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 travelling on economical travelling. When the
fare
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fares
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 of airline tickets are cut down
on
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apply
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,
people
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 will have more opportunities to visit other countries that are far from their own
country
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.
For example
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, students in developing countries like Vietnam could have organized trips to developing nations
such
Linking Words
 as America because of low fare
air
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trip
Fix the agreement mistake
trips
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.
On the other hand
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,
although
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 the
low-cost
Correct your spelling
low cost
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 of
air
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 travel
provide
Correct subject-verb agreement
provides
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 low priced tickets for
people
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 to go abroad for their holidays,
this
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 could bring drawbacks to their
country
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's tourism industry. The local visitors indeed play a vital role in promoting the development of a
country
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. To be specific, if the number of local citizens visiting places in their own
country
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is decreased
Wrong verb form
decreases
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 dramatically, the revenue of the whole
country
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's tourism industry will be reduced.
As a result
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, the amount of money spent on promoting and advertising these places to foreigners will be restricted, which results in bad outcomes for local
people
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. In conclusion, there are both advantages and disadvantages
for
Change preposition
to
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 the fact that more
people
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 spend their holidays abroad
instead
Linking Words
 of
their
Change preposition
in their
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 own
country
Use synonyms
 because of the
low fare
Add a hyphen
low-fare
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air
Use synonyms
 tickets.

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Task Response
Provide a more balanced discussion by elaborating on the negative effects of increased air travel on local tourism industries. You should also clearly state your opinion in the introduction and provide a balanced conclusion.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph is logically linked to the previous one and that there is a clear flow of ideas throughout the essay. Use transition words to connect your arguments more effectively.
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