The charts below show the result of a survey about what peopel of differwncw age groups say makes them most happy

#show #survey #peopel #differwncw #age #groups

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The two pie

charts

Use synonyms

depict

outcomes

Correct article usage

the outcomes

show examples

of a survey on

Correct article usage

the

show examples

topic of what matters can satisfy

people

Use synonyms

the most.

Overall

Linking Words

, the

charts

Use synonyms

are separated by the age of

people

Use synonyms

. In both

charts

Use synonyms

, the most significant topics are Achievement at work and Doing hobbies

that

Correct pronoun usage

which

show examples

are almost the same proportion. And

also

Linking Words

cause other factions to just slightly

difference

Replace the word

different

show examples

percent

Change the spelling

per cent

show examples

. Achievement at work plays a virtual role in

people

Use synonyms

of all ages which is over one quarter on both

charts

Use synonyms

. Doing hobbies

also

Linking Words

appears in all the

charts

Use synonyms

and took the

second

Linking Words

largest part which is more than 20%.

However

Linking Words

, The other aspects display almost the same percentage. For

people

Use synonyms

who are under 30 years old, having a good appearance is 18%, Travelling is 15% and Othe factors is 14%.

On the other hand

Linking Words

for

people

Use synonyms

who are over 30 years old has a slight difference in proportion, Financial security is just over 2%

from

Change preposition

for

show examples

A good appearance, Being with family is just under 1%

from

Change preposition

for

show examples

Travelling but Other factors have only 10% which is the smallest piece of the pie

charts

Use synonyms

Fri Feb 28 2020

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also".

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Vocabulary: Replace the words charts, people with synonyms.

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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.

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Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 6 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "difference" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "go" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "go" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "slightly" was used 2 times.

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5
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

182 words

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The charts below show the result of a survey about what peopel of differwncw age groups say makes them most happy

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this a positive or negative thing?

In some cultures, children are often told they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advanages and disadvantages of gibing children this message?

The prevention of health problems and illness is more important than treatment and medicine. Government funding should reflect this. To what extent do you agree?

In some countries children have very strict rules of behaviour, in other countries, they are allowed to do almost anything they want. To what extent should children have to follow rules?