It is widely believed that consumerism is vital for the economic well-being of a country. However others feel that consumerism has unacceptable social consequences on a society. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#consumerism #country #consequences #society

While some people argue that

consumerism

is significantly important for a country’s economic growth, others condemn that it brings rather detrimental effects. It seems to me that

although

consumerism

is vital to some extent, people have to manage problems that could be caused. On one hand,

consumerism

brings several benefits to

society

Firstly

, through consuming products, companies get a new idea for

further

improvements

Accept comma addition

improvements, for

for example

, it

Suggestion

was

a mobile produced by Apple approximately 10 years ago, which has been one of the most sold all over the world throughout the period. The more products were sold, the more the company got, which led to

development

Suggestion

the development

of the phone.

As a result

, nowadays not just one of the

Secondly

, the more money people spend, the more the economic growth

Accept space

Consuming things helps companies to collect money for development.

On the other hand

, there are a few disadvantages that cannot be

Accept space

Firstly

society

produces a lot of

disposable

Suggestion

Disposable

waste which even a source of pollution.

For example

has

Suggestion

Has

developed significantly

for

Suggestion

the

last

few decades.

However

, smog and full of waste created by the

society

As a result

, people suffer from health issues

environmental

Suggestion

Environmental

problems. More importantly, the pollution brings a significant damage to nature, and even increases the number of endangered species of animal and plants. In conclusion,

consumerism

does not always bring

benefits but

Accept comma addition

benefits, but

at the same time it could cause grave issues. I reckon for the

further

development of

society it’s

Accept comma addition

society, it’s

necessary,

however

, people must prepare for the disadvantages.

Fri Feb 28 2020

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Fully explain your ideas

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Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
11Grammar mistakes
 

8 paragraphs

253 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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It is widely believed that consumerism is vital for the economic well-being of a country. However others feel that consumerism has unacceptable social consequences on a society. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Fully explain your ideas

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Many people no longer read newspapers or watch TV news programmes. Instead, they get news about the world from the Internet. Why is it so? Is this a positive or negative development? You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Write at least 250 words.

The threat of nuclear weapons maintains world peace. Nuclear power provides cheap and Clean energy. The benefits of nuclear energy far outweigh the disadvantages. To what extent do you agree or disagree?