Some people say that spending time to develop a successful career is the most important thing. Other say the spending time with friends and family is more important. Discuss both views and give your opinion?

#people #time #career #friends

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To lead a happy

life

Use synonyms

, people need both career and family. Certain individual tell that giving

time

Use synonyms

for

successful career

Suggestion

a successful career

is the most vital thing. Whereas, others say

time

Use synonyms

spent

Suggestion

with

friends and family is more important. In my

opinion I

Accept comma addition

opinion, I

agree with the later notion to spare

time

Use synonyms

with loved ones is essential. On the one hand, People ascertain spending

time

Use synonyms

Suggestion

with

family and friends is very much essential for health benefits and I agree.

Individual

Suggestion

The individual

An individual

spend

Suggestion

spends

most of the

time

Use synonyms

in workplace in meeting and carrying out

difficult task

Suggestion

difficult tasks

the difficult task

. By doing

this

Linking Words

regularly it will affect their health, they are chance that stress related illness and tension of work will not allow them to lead

peaceful

Suggestion

a peaceful life

peaceful lives

life

Use synonyms

Linking Words

Hence to

Accept comma addition

Hence, to

release the

work load

work that a person is expected to do in a specified time

workload

and get themselves diverted they can meet with friends and family member.

This

Linking Words

way their mental depression can be reduced and

this

Linking Words

how

life

Use synonyms

can be balanced.

For instance

Linking Words

, As per recent study it was concluded that 95% people in corporate world suffer from stress related illness and by mingling with acquaintance has proven successful.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, people saying devoting

time

Use synonyms

for building career

Suggestion

are

necessary. They think most important to lead a happy

life

Use synonyms

is to have an employment. Usually

first

Linking Words

job will not offer good

salary it will

Suggestion

salary, it will

only

fulfilling

Suggestion

fulfil

the basic needs of

life

Use synonyms

. In order to have good paying

job

Suggestion

jobs

to satisfy all your wants is to grab a job in reputed multinational company. Individual need to prove his worth and for

this

Linking Words

has acquire

Suggestion

has acquired

expertise in his field and

also

Linking Words

simultaneously need to acquire additional skill as per growing demand. To acquire experience and

also

Linking Words

additional skill he goes on spending his day and night.

For instance

Linking Words

, recent online survey stated that all the CEO and CFO of US based company have invested most of

time

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in jobs and acquiring skills. In conclusion, while people may vary in their opinions, I strongly support with giving maximum attention to relatives and acquaintance is most important for good health.

Linking Words

Thus it

Accept comma addition

Thus, it

will

also

Linking Words

increase productivity by balancing the work and family

life

Use synonyms

Submitted by findwahab on Fri Feb 28 2020

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7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
16
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

353 words

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Some people say that spending time to develop a successful career is the most important thing. Other say the spending time with friends and family is more important. Discuss both views and give your opinion?

Environmental damage is a problem in most countries. What is the cause of this damage? What should be done about this problem?

The government should impose a fee on drivers who use their vehicle during rush hour to help cut down on air pollution from exhaust fumes. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Too much attention is given to headline-grabbing disasters like earthquakes and floods. Governments should concentrate their resource on educating people about the risk they face nearer to their home, which can cost far more lives . To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion.

The only way to improve safety in our roads is to give stricter punishment for driving offenses. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

An overseas friend has invited you to visit his country. You are planning to visit him. Write a letter to your friend. In your letter  Thank him for the invitation and accept the invitation  Write details about your visit  Briefly describe what you want to do there.