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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people say that school children should learn how to grow food and cook with it in their lessons. What is your opinion about that?

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Food is one of
basic requirement
Suggestion
the basic requirement
basic requirements
 for survival. Certain individual tell that
school
Use synonyms
 teenagers must acquire knowledge related to growing and as well cooking in their subjects. I disagree with the notion because it is irrelevant and it is
additional burden
Suggestion
an additional burden
.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, Parent who
are proposing
Suggestion
is proposing
lesson
Use synonyms
 related to cultivating and growing food for children is not required because there are other important general
subject
Use synonyms
 in the
school
Use synonyms
 curriculum, Most
subject
Use synonyms
 in
school
Use synonyms
 are related to literature, Mathematics, Science and social. Already
this
Linking Words
lesson
Use synonyms
are
Suggestion
was
is
 indispensable and
this
Linking Words
 cooking proposed
subject
Use synonyms
can be learn
Suggestion
can be learned
can be learnt
 after completion of
school
Use synonyms
.
Linking Words
for
Suggestion
For
 instance, UK Curriculum has
wide range
Suggestion
a wide range
 of
subject
Use synonyms
 and 95% of students are already facing
problem
Suggestion
problems
a problem
 in completing their task.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, the other reason for refusal for cooking
subject
Use synonyms
 in
school
Use synonyms
 is because it is extra pressure on children. Already regular
lesson
Use synonyms
need
Suggestion
needed
needs
 sufficient time for children to complete it and by including
this
Linking Words
 new
subject
Use synonyms
 will add
on
Suggestion
to
 pressure on them. Food is essential for
living but
Accept comma addition
living, but
 it is not essential to acquire information in depth from
initial stages
Suggestion
the initial stages
 of cultivation and final stage of preparing in
kitchen
Suggestion
the kitchen
. Latter when children excel in their regular syllabus they can think
of
Suggestion
about
 specializing in their interest field. But now forcing them will hinder in other studies.
Linking Words
for
Suggestion
For
 example, As per recent studies it is concluded that most children are hospitalized due to excess of pressure from regular studies. In conclusion, Irrelevance and over burdening are two main
reason
Suggestion
reasons
 for my disagreement for including growing and cooking
lesson
Use synonyms
 in the
school
Use synonyms
subject
Use synonyms
. Children when they complete their elementary
school
Use synonyms
 and pass out with excellent
grades
Accept comma addition
grades, then
then
Linking Words
 they are free to decide their career and take on agriculture
subject
Use synonyms
 or hotel management to learn in depth.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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