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Band 6

In many modern societies, grandchildren rarely spend any quality time with their grandparents. What do you think are the consequences of this?

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In the modern world, family relationships are the most discussed topics. These days
kids
Use synonyms
 miss out on spending time with their
grandparents
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 as joint families are disintegrating
to
Change preposition
into
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 the nuclear ones.
This
Linking Words
 has
the
Correct article usage
apply
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consequences which impact both the
kids
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 and
elderly
Correct article usage
the elderly
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. First of all, let's discuss the impact on the
children
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.
Grandparents
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 are fun to be around and they shower
kids
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 with lots of love and care without expecting anything in return.
This
Linking Words
 teaches
kids
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 the very basic
lesson
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lessons
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 of
the
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apply
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society, true love and humanity. All these qualities are very necessary to become good citizens of the country.
Secondly
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, these days both the parents are working and
therefore
Linking Words
, have less term to spend with their
children
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. The
grandparents
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 often cover
this
Linking Words
 gap and teach them the difference between right and wrong.
For instance
Linking Words
, it is widely accepted that if a child does not have any elder to guide and look upon,
then
Linking Words
 do not understand the difference between good and bad and
hence
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, often fall prey to bad company. The consequences for the elderly
involves
Correct subject-verb agreement
involve
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 issues related to their mental health. Most of the
grandparents
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 are retired and do not have much to do to keep themselves busy.
Thus
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, they often feel lonely in
the
Correct article usage
apply
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old age, which might cause depression.
For example
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, multiple surveys found that if they get to spend some quality time with their grandchildren,
then
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 they feel rejoiced and
as a result
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, attain better mental health.
To conclude
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, spending little time with
grandparents
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 could have harsh consequences
such
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 as, more
children
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 getting involved in crimes and degradation of the mental health of the elders.
Children
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 should spend more term with them for a better society.

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task achievement
Provide more specific examples to support your ideas.
coherence cohesion
Ensure a clear and logical structure throughout the essay.
lexical resource
Use a wider range of vocabulary to enhance your essay.
grammatical range accuracy
Pay attention to grammatical accuracy and use more complex sentence structures.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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