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Band 4

The use of personal cars has increased more than ever before but this use of cars cause many problems.what are those problems? In order to reduce problems,should we discourage people to use cars? Give reasons?

#cars #people
There has been
significant
Add an article
a significant
show examples
 rise in
usage
Correct article usage
the usage
show examples
 of personal
cars
 by
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society. More utilization of
four wheelers
Add a hyphen
four-wheelers
show examples
 can increase the pollution level and
also
impacts
Correct subject-verb agreement
impact
show examples
 the health of the individuals.There are various measures which
needs
Change the verb form
need
show examples
 to be taken to encourage
people
 to curb the
usage
 of
cars
. Apparently,more
usage
 of automobiles can adulterate the environment with pollutants. To elaborate,
daily
Correct article usage
the daily
show examples
 running of
cars
 on the roads emit harmful carbon emissions into the atmosphere which impacts the quality of air and
thus
 leads to higher AQI level .
For instance
,as per
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 recent survey,Delhi is considered as
most
Correct article usage
the most
show examples
 polluted city in the world
due to
higher
Correct article usage
the higher
show examples
 percentage of
cars
 on the road.
In addition
 to it,more utilization of
cars
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
bad
Correct article usage
a bad
show examples
 impact on the health of
people
. To describe,
people
 prefer to travel by
their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
car
 for daily commuting to
office
Correct article usage
the office
show examples
 and even for shorter distances . which would reduce physical activity in humans and would make them prone to diseases like obesity, heart issues and various other ailments. To save cities from
severage
Correct your spelling
severe
 damage from
cars
,
Government
Correct article usage
the Government
show examples
 should upgrade vehicles to encourage
people
 to travel by public transport system. To describe,
introduction
Add an article
the introduction
show examples
 of metros, e-Rickshaws, good quality ac buses and shuttle facilities to
near by
Correct your spelling
nearby
show examples
 locations would help
people
 in daily commuting.
Thus
,it might motivate
people
 to stop driving their own
vehicle
Fix the agreement mistake
vehicles
show examples
.
Furthermore
,
increase
Correct article usage
an increase
show examples
 in fuel
cost
Fix the agreement mistake
costs
show examples
 might stop
middle
Correct article usage
the middle
show examples
 class
to run
Change preposition
from running
show examples
car
Fix the agreement mistake
cars
show examples
 on
daily
Correct article usage
a daily
show examples
 basis. To elaborate, with the rise in
economy
Correct article usage
the economy
show examples
,
now
Rephrase
apply
show examples
middle class
Add a hyphen
middle-class
show examples
people
 can afford to travel by
car
.
Thus
,
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
 the subsequent rise in oil
cost
Fix the agreement mistake
costs
show examples
 would prohibit the
usage
 of
Add an article
the car
a car
show examples
car
Fix the agreement mistake
cars
show examples
 by
Correct article usage
the middle
show examples
middle income
Add a hyphen
middle-income
show examples
 group.
To conclude
,excessive running of
cars
 impacts the
overall
 environment of cities and would introduce various ailments.
Therefore
,
Government
Correct article usage
the Government
show examples
 should introduce better transport
facilties
Correct your spelling
facilities
 and should increase the petrol or
diseal
Correct your spelling
diesel
 cost.
Submitted by nidhi87.anand on

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Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

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