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Band 5.5

In Britain when someone gets old they often go to live in a home with other old people where there are nurses to look after them. sometimes the government have to pay for this care. who do you think should pay for this care, the government or the family?

#britain #someone #home #people #nurses #government #care
old
Suggestion
Old
age
 is the best stage of life and people need good
care
 at
this
age
.In
britain
a monarchy in northwestern Europe occupying most of the British Isles; divided into England and Scotland and Wales and Northern Ireland; 'Great Britain' is often used loosely to refer to the United Kingdom
Britain
myraids
too numerous to be counted
myriads
 of people go to live in
a
Suggestion
an
aboad
any address at which you dwell more than temporarily
abode
 with same
age
 people
.
Accept space
.
most
Suggestion
Most
 of the time bureaucrat
pay
Suggestion
pays
 money
for
Suggestion
to
 take
care
 of
elder
advanced in years; ('aged' is pronounced as two syllables)
older
people but
Accept comma addition
people, but
 as per my perspective family is responsible for
care
care
 of their parents and elder people
.
Accept space
.
In
this
 essay we would elucidate the my opinion with some apt epitome. There are
myraids
too numerous to be counted
myriads
 of reason behind
this
 phenomenon that why family is responsible for their parents and elder people
.
Accept space
.
first
preceding all others in time or space or degree
First
 and foremost reason is that
its
it is
it's
 our culture
,
Accept space
,
we
learnt
Suggestion
have learned
have learnt
 since childhood that parents play a very crucial role in our
life
Suggestion
lives
 and provide us a better lifestyle or career
.
Accept space
.
Thus
, it is
responsibility
Suggestion
the responsibility
 of children to look their parents
at
Suggestion
in
 their old
age
.
Accept space
.
Secondly
,
Accept space
,
bureaucrat
Suggestion
the bureaucrat
a bureaucrat
is already provide
Suggestion
is already providing
has already provided
is already provided
already provides
 a
lots
Suggestion
lot
 of facility to us
such
 as free medical
facitity
a building or place that provides a particular service or is used for a particular industry
facility
 in hospitals
,
Accept space
,
free education or many more
.
Accept space
.
Therfore
Suggestion
Therefore
,
government
Suggestion
the government
 has not too much fund to pay money for elder
peole
(plural) any group of human beings (men or women or children) collectively
people
. Futhermore
,
Accept space
,
if
government
 provides
this
 kind of
services
Accept comma addition
services, then
then
defenetly
without question and beyond doubt
definitely
 it has
determenental imapct
Suggestion
a detrimental impact
determenental impact
detrimental impact
detrimental imapct
 on our lifestyle and future as they increase tax and
price
Suggestion
the price
 of everything
.
Accept space
.
Last
 but not least
,
Accept space
,
government
provide
Suggestion
provides
 the services
such
 as pension to senior citizen so it is
little bit
Suggestion
a little bit
 difficult for
government
 to manage lots of
fund
Suggestion
funds
.
Accept space
.
To
substanitate
establish or strengthen as with new evidence or facts
substantiate
, my state of
mind i
Accept comma addition
mind, I
mind I
 would like to quote an epitome
such
 as
last
 year I visited
United Kingdom
Suggestion
the United Kingdom
bcz
 my alter ego invite me so
i
refers to the speaker or writer
I
 visit their that mostly parents live
alone they
Accept comma addition
alone, they
 do not like to live with their parents, and
,
Accept space
,
for
this
bureaucrats
Suggestion
bureaucrat
 pay a
monthy
of or occurring or payable every month
monthly
month
 pension to the people.After knowing
this
 I was very surprised.
Hamering
Suggestion
Hammering
 the
last
 nail
,
Accept space
,
i
refers to the speaker or writer
I
 would like to infer that it should be the duty of the family and children to provide
better facility
Suggestion
better facilities
a better facility
 and home to their parents
.
Accept space
.
Our
government
have
Suggestion
had
has
 already lots of
project
Suggestion
projects
 to hone the economy of the country
.
Accept space
.

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Aging population
  • Elderly care
  • Nursing homes
  • Social welfare
  • Intergenerational responsibility
  • Caregiving
  • Financial burden
  • Quality of life
  • Pension funds
  • Healthcare policy
  • Taxation
  • Subsidies
  • Private insurance
  • Long-term care
  • Sustainability
What to do next:
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