it is often said that governments spend too much money on projects to protect wildlife,while there are other problems that are more important? do you agree or disagree?

5.0 / 9

Band scoreView breakdown ↓

✍️ Want to check your own essay?Write on this topic →

Introduction

some

Suggestion

Some

people believe that more than half of

Use synonyms

government's budget

Suggestion

the government's budget

are spent on protecting the life of animals

instead

Linking Words

of major problems.

This

Linking Words

essay agrees that two

third

Linking Words

of governments fund are spent on wildlife

protection leaving

Accept comma addition

protection, leaving

important issues unattended with reasons.

Body paragraph 1

Firstly

Linking Words

Accept space

it is true that animals are beneficial to humans but

education

Use synonyms

as one of the important issues has been neglected.

This

Linking Words

is because

education

Use synonyms

when given to our younger generation will be of a great benefit to the country, has been given less or no attention and the money which is supposed to be used in building schools with international facilities has been

chennelled

a path over which electrical signals can pass

channelled

channeled

renovating

Suggestion

renovate

old and building of new zoos.

For instance

Linking Words

Accept space

2019 budget analysis shows that only 5% of the capital expenditure are allocated to

education

Use synonyms

.And

this

Linking Words

has made most of the citizens to think that

government

Use synonyms

has failed in their responsibility.

Body paragraph 2

In addition

Linking Words

Accept space

wildlife is good to be funded by the

Use synonyms

government but

Accept comma addition

government, but

health is of great

important

Suggestion

importance

.Funds that should have been used to build hospitals with modern facilities are now channelled to the maintenance of

game reserve

Suggestion

the game reserve

to the detriment of the people.

This

Linking Words

means that for one to access good

healthcare

Suggestion

health care

Accept space

you must be ready to travel abroad and because not everybody can afford to fly their sick relatives overseas

Accept space

they have resorted to herbal treatment

Accept space

which in the end lead to death.

Conclusion

In conclusion

Accept space

budgeting a reasonable amount of money to wildlife is

good but

Accept comma addition

good, but

I think that issues like

education

Use synonyms

and health sector should be given major parts of the

government

Use synonyms

money as it is essential human parts of life.

nwohasteven

Feb 29, 2020

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
17
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

5.0

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.5

Complete response

5.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

260 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

biodiversity
ecological balance
safeguard
natural habitats
foster
cultural of conservation
long-term ecological sustainability
economic benefits
significant source of revenue
investment
nation’s economic wealth
preservation of ecosystems
clean water and air
prioritization
multi-faceted government budgets
environmental protection
wildlife conservation
neglecting
detrimental effects

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

6
band
At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of the young aldults, compared with the number of older people. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantage
There is no denying the fact that the population in any country is responsible for the success of that nation. While there is a commonly held belief that there are more benefits of a high number of young adults compared with the number of older people, there is also an argument that opposes it. This essay will analyse this topic from both points of view and express my opinion.
7
band
Some people say that advertising is extremely successful at persuading us to buy things. Other people think that advertising is so common that we no longer pay attention to it. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion
One point of view supports that advertising is becoming more developed at motivating us to purchase products and services, while another says that people don’t pay attention to it, because there are many similar ads nowadays. This essay will argue although people ignore advertising, which appears everywhere, I believe that the advertising industry is improving every year and it sometimes encourages us to buy even those things, which we don’t need.
6
band
Nowadays children mostly spend time playing computer games rather than sports. Is it a positive or negative development?
In today’s increasingly digital world, it has become more common for children to spend their time playing computer games rather than participating in physical activities. Although this trend has its drawbacks, particularly in terms of health and social development, I believe that the long-term benefits of this phenomenon outweigh any potential downsides.
6.5
band
some people think that competition at work, at school and in daily life is a good thing. others believe that we should try cooperative more, rather than competing against each other
One group individuals consider that competition in education, at job careers, and other fields is good. While others say we should more cooperative and pay attention to collaboratively working.
6.5
band
People living in the 21st century have a better life quality than people who lived in previous times. to whta extent do you agree or disagree?
It is often said there is an improvement in the way people live in the 21st century from the past. I partially agree with this, for the growing supply of food resulted from the advancement of technology regardless of the fact that people are not always happy from the increasing loss of physical contact with other people in daily life.

it is often said that governments spend too much money on projects to protect wildlife,while there are other problems that are more important? do you agree or disagree?

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of the young aldults, compared with the number of older people. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantage

Some people say that advertising is extremely successful at persuading us to buy things. Other people think that advertising is so common that we no longer pay attention to it. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

Nowadays children mostly spend time playing computer games rather than sports. Is it a positive or negative development?

some people think that competition at work, at school and in daily life is a good thing. others believe that we should try cooperative more, rather than competing against each other

People living in the 21st century have a better life quality than people who lived in previous times. to whta extent do you agree or disagree?