These days, we are seeing an increasing amount of violence on television, and this is having a negative impact on children's behaviour. Do you agree or disagree?

#amount #violence #television #impact #children #behaviour

Watching

television

nowadays is

become

Suggestion

becoming

a part of people daily activities to

spent

Suggestion

spend

our leisure time and gathering new information worldwide.

Suggestion

the other side, some people believe that seeing

television

give

Suggestion

gives

a negative effect to

children

Suggestion

children's

child's

child

behaviour. While

this

is understandable, I strongly believe that each opinion has a strong

reasons

Suggestion

reason

. Not only adult people, but

also

children who watch

television

. Some

television

daily programs showing a violence on their

program

. Many people link violence on

television

with the real world. Children who do not have a mind border

yetusually

Suggestion

yet usually

copying behaviour they see on the screen.

For example

, in

Indonesia in

Accept comma addition

Indonesia, in

these recent years children delinquency increased dramatically. They do crimes based on violence they saw

Suggestion

This

trend makes them become a

criminals some

Suggestion

criminals, some

criminal some

criminal criminal some

case

make

Suggestion

makes

someone

lost

Suggestion

lose

their life.

Consequently

, some

programs giving a negative impacts to

children future

Suggestion

a child's future

child's future

the child's future

children's future

Suggestion

the other hand, we can

also

get some benefits by watching

television

. By seeing

television

, children can gather information and make learning more fun. We can update our knowledge about global events. The evidence of

this

case can be seen that nowadays, by watching

Discovery Channel

Suggestion

the Discovery Channel

or National Geographic, young people will get a new edification

Accept space

Children will have

awareness

Suggestion

an awareness

aboutworld

Suggestion

about world

wild and know about

new place

Suggestion

the new place

new places

a new place

without

have

Suggestion

having

to go there.

In addition

television

have

Suggestion

has

another function. For some children who does not have much time to play outside, seeing

program

is one of a best way to relax.

For example

, now on nearly all of

station has a comedy

programs

Suggestion

program

This

program

brings the best comedian, which

last

decades only

Accept comma addition

decades, only

can be seen in

circus

Suggestion

the circus

, into our homes.

This

program

will entertain and refresh children mind after their

grueling

Suggestion

gruelling

day. To sum up, it is evident that seeing

television

has

advantages

Accept comma addition

advantages, although

although

Suggestion

has also given

is also given

also gives

also

give negative effect. To reduce the negative impact for children, parents and the society should pay more attention to young kids and selected

program

that children watched.

Sun Mar 01 2020

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Do you want to check your IELTS writing?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
27Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

335 words

6.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 checks
Get all the feedback you need to keep improving your charts and letters.
Unlimited Task 2 checks
Practice and perfect your skills with essays.
Personalized suggestions
Know how to boost your score.
Detailed mistakes analysis
Get instant feedback. Spot every mistake.
Topic ideas generator
Get topic-specific ideas to enhance your writing.
Vocabulary helper
Get the right words for any topic.
Progress tracking
Track your writing improvements.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

<4
band
Nowadays businesses face problems with new employees who just finished their education and lack some interpersonal skills such as the ability to work in a team. What do you think is the main cause of the problem? How can it be resolved?
This essay will talk about the most important reason behind the inability of individuals that are recently graduated, to be a team player. I believe that the utmost source of this problem is the lack of proper education that it takes to be disciplined to function as a gear in the system, in academic environments.
<4
band
Some believe that children nowadays have too much freedom. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
It is argued that children are given excessive freedom in the present day.From my point of view,I partly agree with this idea because they do have many choices than before.
6
band
Despite a large number of gyms, a sedentary lifestyle is gaining popularity in the contemporary world. What problems are associated with this? What solutions can you suggest?
Despite the availability of fitness centers, a sedentary lifestyle is becoming increasingly popular in today's world. From my point of view, the main problems would be related to some possible health problems that many people are comfortable with and I will propose solutions to tackle this problem.
5
band
Internet allows us to stay connected with each other no matter where we are. On the other hand it also isolated us and discuss people not too socialized. To what extent do you agree or disagree with the statement? Give reason for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
In the modern era, the advancement of technology, especially internet enables us to connect with others across the world, regardless of the location. However, it can also deteriorate the relationship in realistic. In this essay, the reasons to support the aforementioned statement will be explain with the example from my point of view.
7
band
In many large cities, people waste hours of their time every day because of traffic congestion on the roads. What are the causes of this? What solutions can you suggest?
One of the main urban problems these days is city dwellers wasting a great deal of time daily on transportation due to traffic jams. This is a serious issue because it affects people’s livings and also health both mental and physical. This essay will discuss about the main causes of traffic congestions, followed by two possible solutions.

These days, we are seeing an increasing amount of violence on television, and this is having a negative impact on children's behaviour. Do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays businesses face problems with new employees who just finished their education and lack some interpersonal skills such as the ability to work in a team. What do you think is the main cause of the problem? How can it be resolved?

Some believe that children nowadays have too much freedom. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Despite a large number of gyms, a sedentary lifestyle is gaining popularity in the contemporary world. What problems are associated with this? What solutions can you suggest?

In many large cities, people waste hours of their time every day because of traffic congestion on the roads. What are the causes of this? What solutions can you suggest?