IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The charts below show the results of a survey of adult education. The First chart shows the reasons why adults decide to study. The pie chart shows how people think the costs of adult education should be shared. Write a report for a university lecturer, describing the information shown below.

The charts below show the results of a survey of adult education. The First chart shows the reasons why adults decide to study. The pie chart shows how people think the costs of adult education should be shared. Write a report for a university lecturer, describing the information shown below.
The First chart provides information about some reasons why adults want to study. The interest in
subject
Correct article usage
the subject
show examples
 and gaining qualifications are by far the most chosen with
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
40% and 38% respectively.
This
Linking Words
 is followed by how studying can be
helpfull
Correct your spelling
helpful
 in your actual job, with
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
22% of
people
Use synonyms
 who chose
this
Linking Words
 reason. It is surprising to note that promoting or enjoying like reasons to study remain in the fourth place with
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
20%.
While
Linking Words
,
at the end
Linking Words
 of the chart, we can see how the least reasons why
people
Use synonyms
 chose to study are
be
Wrong verb form
being
show examples
 able to change a job and
meeting
Wrong verb form
meet
show examples
 other
people
Use synonyms
 with less than 15%. Le tus look at the
second
Linking Words
 chart now, where we can see the percentages about how
people
Use synonyms
 think the cost of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
education should be shared. Most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 think that the cost of the course should be
asumed
Correct your spelling
assumed
individual
Change preposition
as individual
show examples
,
this
Linking Words
 means that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
40% of the total think
this
Linking Words
 way. Like
Linking Words
second
Correct article usage
the second
show examples
 option we can find the employer to share the course´s cost, with
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
35%.
At the
Change preposition
The
show examples
third
Linking Words
 option is the taxpayer with a 25%.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "second".
▼
Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words people with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • percentage distribution
  • stakeholders
  • pursue further education
  • financial contribution
  • survey results
  • policy implications
  • correlation
  • adult education
  • distribution of costs
  • significant differences
What to do next:
Look at other essays: