IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

The pie charts below show the average household expenditures in Japan and Malaysia in the year 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The pie charts below show the average household expenditures in Japan and Malaysia in the year 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#show #household #expenditures #japan #malaysia #year #summarise #information #features #comparisons
The pie charts compare the
expenditure
 of
household
Fix the agreement mistake
households
show examples
 in
Japan
 and
Malaysia
 in terms of five different categories in 2010.
Overall
,
it is clear that
 both nations allocated most of their budget
on
Change preposition
to
show examples
 housing, food and other goods and services,
while
health
 care and transport
were
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
accounted for
least
Correct article usage
the least
show examples
 amount.
However
, the figure
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
health
 and transport in
Japan
 was exactly double than
Change preposition
of Malaysian’s
show examples
Malaysian’s
Correct your spelling
Malaysia’s
show examples
expenditure
. In
Malaysia
, 34% of the total budget was
being
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
spent on housing, which is the largest portion of household
expenditure
 in
Malaysia
.
On the other hand
,
this
 sector was responsible
21
Change preposition
for 21
show examples
%
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
Japan
. Again, the greatest portion of spending was
other
Change preposition
on other
show examples
good
Fix the agreement mistake
goods
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 and services in
Japan
, at 29%,
while
 in
Malaysia
,
this
 figure was
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
lower than
Japan
Change preposition
in Japan
show examples
, at 26%. In terms of food, both countries spent relatively
similar
Change the word
similarly
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, 24% for
Japan
 and for
Malaysia
 it is 27%.
Furthermore
, the lowest portion of
expenditure
 was
health
Change preposition
on health
show examples
 care in both countries. People in
Malaysia
 spent 3% on
health
Add an article
the health
show examples
 sector and transport represented 10% of the total household budget. These figures were exactly doubled in
Japan
.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words expenditure, japan, malaysia, health with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "go" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "go" was used 2 times.
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