The percentage of overweight children in western society has increased by almost 20% in the last ten years. Discuss the causes and effects of this disturbing trend.

Obesity is one of the major problems among the pupils in recent times. The number of children suffering from excess weight issues have been significantly increased, especially in the western countries. Having an improper
diet
and lack of
exercise
has caused
Suggestion
this problem
these problems
this problems
and if
this
trend continues it will affect the health and make them fatigue. One of the major causes of
such
problem is due to improper or door
diet
habits. Many pupils in the western countries are consuming foods, which are unhealthy and excessively high in bad cholesterol.
As a result
, they are suffering from obesity related health issues like thyroid and heart diseases.
For instance
, a recent survey shows that oily and fatty foods
such
as pizzas and fries are among the top unhealthy foods which are primarily responsible for heart attacks.
Suggestion
This
Thus
poor
diet
leads to severe health issues among the obese children.
Nevertheless
, some of them maintain a healthy
diet
, they too are among the victims of obesity due to lack of
exercise
. Unlike pupils in Asian countries, those in western countries have a less physical
exercise
at school.
As a result
, those with excess weight, feel fatigued and could not concentrate on studies.
For example
, a report shows, schools with no sports or physical activities perform poorly in academics.
Suggestion
Thus, obese
Thus obese
pupils who lack physical activity feel tired and perform poorly in studies. To conclude, if proper precautions are not taken overweight issues will deteriorate problems like heart diseases and feeling fatigue.
This
can be avoided by maintaining a healthy
diet
and regular
exercise
.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Read more in the eBook

The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »

* free ebook for Premium users

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

What to do next:
Try other services:

All the services are free for Premium users