The two pie charts below compare employment patterns in Great Britain by sex in 2010.

#two #employment #patterns #britain #sex

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These pie charts are illustrating information about the comparison of job

rate

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rates

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male

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males

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and females in the United Kingdom in the year 2010.

Overall

, it can be seen that managerial & professional accounted to be the largest

segment

in males,

while

Clerical & related considered the be the biggest

segment

in the women's.

Furthermore

, other manual and other non-manual experienced relatively the same percentage in both genders.

To begin

, managerial& professional was the largest

segment

of the chart in the men, with 38%.

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the

Correct article usage

apply

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second

place came

other manual

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another manual

other manuals

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, with a percentage of 28%. Craft or similar showed a number of 21%.

Moreover

, other manual, clerical & related and general labourers were respectively the lowest in the pie chart, with 6%, 5% and 2%. Other

manual

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manuals

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accounted to be the biggest

segment

in the girls, with 32%. Clerical & related came in the

second

place, with 1% lower.

Furthermore

, managerial & professional showed a percentage of 22 %.

Finally

, other manual, craft or similar and general labourers were the least popular, with 11%, 4.5% and 0.5%.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "furthermore, second".

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.

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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.

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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.

Introduction: The chart intro is missing.

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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words segment with synonyms.

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Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 3 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "showed" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.

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7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

178 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

employment patterns
gender discrepancy
full-time employment
part-time work
self-employed
unemployment rate
retired individuals
economic factors
social welfare policies
educational opportunities
labour market
workforce
statistical analysis
demographics
employment sector
gender roles
participation rate
trends
pie chart interpretation

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The two pie charts below compare employment patterns in Great Britain by sex in 2010.

some people say that internet should be regulated. others are against any forms of internet censorship. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

International travel brings benefits to travellers and the countries visited, but it also harms for the environment. Do the disadvantages outweigh the advantages?

Some poeople say History is one of the most important school subject and people think that, in todays;s world subjects like Science and Technology are more important than History. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

Countries are becoming more and more similar because people are able to buy the same products anywhere in the world. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

Some people say that to prevent illness and disease, governments should focus more on reducing environmental pollution and housing problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience