The two pie charts below compare employment patterns in Great Britain by sex in 2010.

#two #employment #patterns #britain #sex

These pie charts are illustrating information about the comparison of job

rate

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rates

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male

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males

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and females in the United Kingdom in the year 2010.

Overall

, it can be seen that managerial & professional accounted to be the largest

segment

in males,

while

Clerical & related considered the be the biggest

segment

in the women's.

Furthermore

, other manual and other non-manual experienced relatively the same percentage in both genders.

To begin

, managerial& professional was the largest

segment

of the chart in the men, with 38%.

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the

Correct article usage

apply

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second

place came

other manual

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another manual

other manuals

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, with a percentage of 28%. Craft or similar showed a number of 21%.

Moreover

, other manual, clerical & related and general labourers were respectively the lowest in the pie chart, with 6%, 5% and 2%. Other

manual

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manuals

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accounted to be the biggest

segment

in the girls, with 32%. Clerical & related came in the

second

place, with 1% lower.

Furthermore

, managerial & professional showed a percentage of 22 %.

Finally

, other manual, craft or similar and general labourers were the least popular, with 11%, 4.5% and 0.5%.

Submitted by rehanauddin9 on Sun Mar 01 2020

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "furthermore, second".

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.

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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.

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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.

Introduction: The chart intro is missing.

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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words segment with synonyms.

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Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 3 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "showed" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

178 words

5.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

employment patterns
gender discrepancy
full-time employment
part-time work
self-employed
unemployment rate
retired individuals
economic factors
social welfare policies
educational opportunities
labour market
workforce
statistical analysis
demographics
employment sector
gender roles
participation rate
trends
pie chart interpretation

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The two pie charts below compare employment patterns in Great Britain by sex in 2010.

Young people who commit serious crimes, such as robbery or violent attacks should be punished in the same way as adults. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some countries are struggling with an increase in crime rates. Many people think that having more police on the streets is the only way to reduce crime. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Some people think that countries should limit the amount of food that they import and mainly eat products from their own country. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people think the cheap air flight gives ordinary people more freedom. However, others think the cheap air flight should be banned because it pollutes the air and brings many other problems. Discuss both views and give your opinion.