IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people work for the same organization all their working life. Others think that it is better to work for different organizations. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#people #work #organization #life #organizations
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Every human
beeing
the state or fact of existing
being
beings
have
Suggestion
has
 different types of personalities, opinions, preferences and taste.
thankfully we
Accept comma addition
Thankfully, we
Thankfully we
dont
do not
don't
 think the same. While some enjoy working in the same
corportion
a business firm whose articles of incorporation have been approved in some state
corporation
 for the rest of their life, others prefer to
change
Use synonyms
 from business to business. I think it depends from person to person and on their purpose.
On
Suggestion
In
this
Linking Words
 essay
i
refers to the speaker or writer
I
 will discuss two different
point
Suggestion
points
 of view and express my opinion. Imagine you have your dream job,
for example
Linking Words
 mine is working
in
Suggestion
with
 google, If I could
accomplished
Suggestion
accomplish
such
Linking Words
 thing by the age
o
connects a noun with the preceding word
of
 25 I would never
change
Use synonyms
 to another company. So on
this
Linking Words
 perspective makes sense,
i
refers to the speaker or writer
I
dont
do not
don't
 agree with individuals who work in a corporation for decades just because they have a high
payment
Suggestion
paying
role but
Accept comma addition
role, but
 hate working there and don´t want to leave because they are afraid. Beside the fact that I understand that people do not
change
Use synonyms
 work
beacause
for the reason that; on account of
because
 the have a high salary and don´t want to go threw financial
strugles
an energetic attempt to achieve something
struggles
struggle
.
However
Linking Words
, in one way it makes sense working
in
Suggestion
with
 a few different companies because not all of them work the same way, they all have explicit methods that you could learn and
expirience
the accumulation of knowledge or skill that results from direct participation in events or activities
experience
 from them. You should take advantage and gain the most knowledge from different points of view. I think if people get the possibility to get their dream job they should not
change
Use synonyms
 to another company.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, I except the
indivudals
a human being
individuals
 who want to
change
Use synonyms
corporates
of or belonging to a corporation
corporate
 during their
life time so
Accept comma addition
lifetime, so
lifetime so
 they can gain as much
expirience
the accumulation of knowledge or skill that results from direct participation in events or activities
experience
experiences
 as they can. To summarize, I´m in
favor
promote over another
favour
 with both points of view.
Submitted by goncalo.ac.espregueira on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • stability
  • loyalty
  • seniority
  • job satisfaction
  • rapidly changing job market
  • adapt to
  • work culture
  • career progression
  • network
  • diversity of experience
  • adaptability
  • career aspirations
  • dynamic nature
What to do next:
Look at other essays: