IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

tourism is an ever growing industry What benefits do you think tourism bring to individuals and society

#tourism #industry #individuals #society
Most of the countries these days rely upon
tourism
 as their main source of income. As far as 90% of revenue came from the
tourism
 industry. The central government of every
country
 is investing in promoting
tourism
 in their
country
 which will eventually boost their economy.
Firstly it
Accept comma addition
Firstly, it
 has a major impact on the lives of individuals of the
country
.
Tourism industry
Suggestion
The tourism industry
 has generated
vast number
Suggestion
a vast number
 of job opportunities for the citizens of the society.
For example
, one can work as a tour guide, cab driver; they can run a gift shop etc. In India, people
are tend
Suggestion
tend
are tending
 to spend their holidays at hill stations e.
g
Suggestion
G
 Shimla or Manali, which is the main source of the income for the people residing in those areas. They do not have enough
plain
the act of playing a musical instrument
playing
 fields to harvest or industries to work.
Secondly
, apart from individuals it has benefited the society as they got the opportunity to interact with different kinds of people and got a chance to learn their language and tradition. It gives them the responsibility to act a good citizen because they are representing our
country
. People in hill areas work together to make hotels, parks and clubs for the tourist who came there to
spent
Suggestion
spend
 the leisure time. They always help each other in the business. If one is running a hotel other is helping him with supplies. It’s
give
Suggestion
given
 an overall development of the area. To conclude,
tourism industry
Suggestion
the tourism industry
 is growing very fast and plays a vital role in
countries economy
Suggestion
the country's economy
country's economy
a country's economy
.
Thus it
Accept comma addition
Thus, it
 should be promoted more by the government and
this
 will generate employment to the citizens of the
country
.
Submitted by gagan.deep630 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: