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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Multicultural societies, where people of different groups live together, bring more benefits than drawbacks to a country. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#societies #people #groups #country
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In Malaysia, there are three main
races including
Accept comma addition
races, including
 Malays,
Chineses
a native or inhabitant of Communist China or of Nationalist China
Chinese
 and Indians that forming our society. It is different with other nations which are only one race, the number of Malays is almost a half of the total population in Malaysia, followed by that for
Chineses
a native or inhabitant of Communist China or of Nationalist China
Chinese
 and Indians.
Therefore
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, as a melting pot of culture, multicultural societies have brought the more benefits than shortcomings in our country.
First
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 of all, people will learn to be tolerant of other people's beliefs is the obvious advantage of the multicultural societies. Every
beliefs
Suggestion
belief
 have its unique creeds that let the believers
to be
Suggestion
be
 kind, so that we must not challenge their limits.
For example
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, eating pork is taboo of Islam, we must prepare the halal food for the
Malay
Suggestion
Malaysian
 people,
instead
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 of forcing them to eat pork which is contrary to their creeds. In the situation of
multiculture
of or relating to or including several cultures
multicultural
, children will realise that all the people and beliefs are equal, all of us have deserve relative respect and no one becomes special due to their races, beliefs or even the colour of skin.
On the other hand
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, cultural diversity means that society will become rich and interesting, because of the cultural exchange and the cultural difference that generate the sparks. We have various
festival
Suggestion
festivals
 that celebrated by many people
such
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 as Chinese New Year, Hari Raya and Deepavali.
Although
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 we are from different races, we share the food and drinks as well as live in harmony. All those things will make the world more peaceful and homogeneous. In conclusion, we must cherish the opportunity to be friends with the people of different ethnics or even being their neighbours.
Hence
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, we should maintain
this
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 valuable relationships and avoid any conflict as unity is the strength.
Submitted by lufeey428 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • cultural exchange
  • cultural fabric
  • traditions and perspectives
  • innovation
  • economic growth
  • social cohesion
  • tolerance and understanding
  • unity in diversity
  • cultural clashes
  • language barriers
  • multilingualism
  • integration
  • translation services
  • prejudice
  • diversity
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