The pie chart shows the main reason why agricultural land becomes less productive.

The pie chart shows the main reason why agricultural land becomes less productive.
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The pie chart illustrates the
three
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primary factors that contributed to the degradation of
land
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all over the world including over-grazing,
deforestation
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and
over-cultivation
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, and
other
Correct pronoun usage
others
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. The table gives information on how these categories affected
land
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in North America,
Europe
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, and Oceania in the 1990s.
Overall
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, over-grazing
were
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was
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the greatest cause of worldwide less productive
land
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. Among the
three
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regions,
Europe
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had the largest proportion of affected
land
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by
three
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causes
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. The opposite was true for North America. The pie chart shows that over-grazing accounted for the highest
percentage
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which is 35% of
causes
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of less productive
land
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.
However
Linking Words
, there seemed to be small differences between
this
Linking Words
figure
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
over-grazing and
deforestation
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. It appeared that 30% of agricultural
land
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were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
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destroyed because of
deforestation
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.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
over-cultivation
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also
Linking Words
had
negative
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a negative
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effect on worldwide
land
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, which had
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percentage
Add an article
a percentage
the percentage
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of 28%.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, other factors accounted for 7% of
land
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destruction. From the given table,
total
Correct article usage
the total
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degraded
land
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by the
three
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causes
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during the 1990s in
Europe
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was 23%.
This
Linking Words
percentage
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nearly doubled Oceanian (13%) and was more than four times as much as North American (5%). In
Europe
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, less productive
land
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by
deforestation
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represented 9.8%
while
Linking Words
over-cultivated
land
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and over-grazed one accounted for 7.7% and 5.5%. Meanwhile, over-grazing took up the greatest proportion
among
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of
show examples
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three
Correct article usage
the three
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causes
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in Oceania, which made up 11.3%.
However
Linking Words
, only 1.7% of Oceanian
land
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was destroyed by
deforestation
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.
Over-cultivation
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seemed to have no effect on
this
Linking Words
region
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region's
show examples
land
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in the period.
However
Linking Words
, it was the main cause, which accounted for 3.3% of
region
Fix the agreement mistake
regions
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whose less productive
land
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, among
three
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categories in North America
while
Linking Words
1.5% of
this
Linking Words
area's degraded
land
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was caused by over-gazing and 0.2% was affected by
deforestation
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. In total, the
percentage
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of degraded
land
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by over-grazing,
deforestation
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, and
over-cultivation
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in these
three
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regions took up 41% that nearly halved the
world
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world's
show examples
total
percentage
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.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however, while".
Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words three, land, deforestation, over-cultivation, europe, causes, percentage with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "gives" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 5 times.
Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "nearly" was used 2 times.
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