In many countries the proportion of elderly people is increasing. Do the advantages of this trend outweigh the disadvantages?

The ageing population saw an increase in many countries. I believe that drawbacks of
this
phenomena outweigh benefits. One of the main benefits of elderly population increasing is child care.
For example
, most of
parents
Suggestion
the parents
have a busy career nowadays. They are less likely to take care of children on their own.
Instead
, their retired relatives take over the responsibility. Another
advantages
Suggestion
advantage
is that we can gain
many
Suggestion
much
knowledge and experiences from senior people.
Moreover
, elderly people often accumulate many experiences from their daily life. If they can share their ideas or opinion, it will definitely
benefits
Suggestion
benefit
to our society.
However
, there are
also
disadvantages of
ageing population
Suggestion
an ageing population
the ageing population
is the burden on
healthcare system
Suggestion
the health care system
health care system
. When people aging, they need more healthcare resources
such
as long-term medication and surgery expenses.
Furthermore
, they may potentially consume all of their pension to cover medical or living expenses.
As a result
, they need to rely much on
social welfare system
Suggestion
the social welfare system
social welfare systems
. Another drawback is that increasing elderly group could cause
labor shortage
Suggestion
a labour shortage
labour shortage
in the country. For
instances
Suggestion
instance
, elders are more likely to have
physical limitation
Suggestion
a physical limitation
compare to younger adult.
Hence
, they are unlikely to be a workforce and contribute to
economy
Suggestion
the economy
. Overall, it seems to me that disadvantages of increasing elderly people outweigh advantages.
Submitted by patrickliaoah on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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