In today’s competitive world, many families find it necessary for both parents go out to work. While some say the children in these families benefit from the additional income, others feel they lack support because of their parents’ absence. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. Give reason for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

There is no doubt that these

days many

Accept comma addition

days, many

families prefer to

work

Use synonyms

in regards to

both

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parents. The question is, what the benefits for

both

Use synonyms

parents to

work

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and what are the drawbacks if they

work

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at the same time? In

this

Linking Words

essay, I am going to discuss

both

Use synonyms

views and draw my own opinion. In terms of the positive side, some people argue that the parents have a job that will increase their income. The main reason given to support

this

Linking Words

claim is that today's life depends more on the value of the money. To illustrate, some parents have

high

Suggestion

higher

incomes since

both

Use synonyms

of them

work

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In other words

Linking Words

, they can afford all the expenses they face in their life.

Hence

Linking Words

their offspring will have better life accordance

Suggestion

with

health care, education and so on.

However

Linking Words

, others believe that children need support from their parents.

Firstly

Linking Words

, when any human born the

first

Linking Words

things that babies know are their parents.

In other words

Linking Words

, the children have an innate towards their parents for love.

Secondly

Linking Words

, if the parents

work

Use synonyms

without caring about their kids that will lead to loss of identity for the child.

This

Linking Words

is because when the baby grows

up he

Accept comma addition

up, he

/she starts to build their personality.

Also

Linking Words

, the normal family can not be

complete

Suggestion

completely

completed

without any members are starting to be absent. In conclusion,

although

Linking Words

there are many people support the idea that parents Should

work

Use synonyms

, others believe in the importance of family relationships. In my

belonging to or on behalf of a specified person (especially yourself); preceded by a possessive

own

point of with you, I believe that the

negatives

Suggestion

negative

side outweighs the

Positives

Suggestion

Positive

side in regard to

both

Use synonyms

parents working at the same moment.

Mar 4, 2020

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9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

272 words

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