IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

The chart below show the percentage of water used of different purpose in six different areas of the world

The chart below show the percentage of water used of different purpose in six different areas of the world
#show #percentage #water #purpose #six #areas #world
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
These six
pie-charts
Correct your spelling
pie charts
show examples
 show
different
Add an article
the different
show examples
Use synonyms
purpose
Fix the agreement mistake
purposes
show examples
 of
water
Use synonyms
 usage throughout the six different
areas
Use synonyms
 as a percentage. In general, there are three different
Use synonyms
purpose
Change to a plural noun
purposes
show examples
 with six different
areas
Use synonyms
. Industrial use, agricultural use and domestic use had been measured as
Add an article
a percentage
show examples
percentage
Fix the agreement mistake
percentages
show examples
. Every
purpose
Use synonyms
 had changed with the area. Most of the
areas
Use synonyms
were
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
consumed
water
Use synonyms
 for
agriculture
Replace the word
agricultural
show examples
Use synonyms
purpose
Fix the agreement mistake
purposes
show examples
specially
Replace the word
especially
show examples
 Africa, Central
Asia
Use synonyms
, South East
Asia
Use synonyms
 and South America. North America and Europe used more
water
Use synonyms
 for industrial usage. It was 48% and 53% respectively.
Very
Correct article usage
A very
show examples
 low amount of
water
Use synonyms
 was consumed for domestic activities. Central
Asia
Use synonyms
, Africa and South East
Asia
Use synonyms
were
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
used
water
Use synonyms
 for agricultural
Use synonyms
purpose
Fix the agreement mistake
purposes
show examples
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
constant
Correct article usage
a constant
show examples
 level.
Additionally
Linking Words
,
water
Use synonyms
 consumption
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 other purposes in
this
Linking Words
 area
were
Change the verb form
was
show examples
 very low. It was always below 15%, but other
areas
Use synonyms
 are completely different. Less
water
Use synonyms
 consumption was 5% for industrial
Use synonyms
purpose
Fix the agreement mistake
purposes
show examples
 in
CentraAsia
Correct your spelling
Centralia
,
although
Linking Words
, high
water
Use synonyms
 usage was reported in Central
Asia
Use synonyms
 for Agricultural uses.
Submitted by yogyamaw on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Introduction: The introduction is missing.
▼
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
▼
Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
▼
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words purpose, water, areas, asia with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "show" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "percentage" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: