IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

The chart below show the percentage of water used of different purpose in six different areas of the world

The chart below show the percentage of water used of different purpose in six different areas of the world
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These six
pie-charts
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pie charts
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 show
different
Add an article
the different
show examples
Use synonyms
purpose
Fix the agreement mistake
purposes
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 of
water
Use synonyms
 usage throughout the six different
areas
Use synonyms
 as a percentage. In general, there are three different
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purpose
Change to a plural noun
purposes
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 with six different
areas
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. Industrial use, agricultural use and domestic use had been measured as
Add an article
a percentage
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percentage
Fix the agreement mistake
percentages
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. Every
purpose
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 had changed with the area. Most of the
areas
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were
Unnecessary verb
apply
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consumed
water
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 for
agriculture
Replace the word
agricultural
show examples
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purpose
Fix the agreement mistake
purposes
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specially
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especially
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 Africa, Central
Asia
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, South East
Asia
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 and South America. North America and Europe used more
water
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 for industrial usage. It was 48% and 53% respectively.
Very
Correct article usage
A very
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 low amount of
water
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 was consumed for domestic activities. Central
Asia
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, Africa and South East
Asia
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were
Unnecessary verb
apply
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used
water
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 for agricultural
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purpose
Fix the agreement mistake
purposes
show examples
in
Change preposition
at
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constant
Correct article usage
a constant
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 level.
Additionally
Linking Words
,
water
Use synonyms
 consumption
of
Change preposition
for
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 other purposes in
this
Linking Words
 area
were
Change the verb form
was
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 very low. It was always below 15%, but other
areas
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 are completely different. Less
water
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 consumption was 5% for industrial
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purpose
Fix the agreement mistake
purposes
show examples
 in
CentraAsia
Correct your spelling
Centralia
,
although
Linking Words
, high
water
Use synonyms
 usage was reported in Central
Asia
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 for Agricultural uses.

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words purpose, water, areas, asia with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "show" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "percentage" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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