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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Chorleywood is a village near London whose population has increased steadily since the middle of the nineteenth century. The map below shows the development of the village. Write a report for a university lecturer describing the development of the village.

Chorleywood is a village near London whose population has increased steadily since the middle of the nineteenth century. The map below shows the development of the village. Write a report for a university lecturer describing the development of the village.
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Chorleywood is a village
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 London to have increased their population in the
last
Linking Words
 200 hundred years.
This
Linking Words
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
is possible to see because the map below shows two important topics, for one side
to teach
Change the verb form
teaches
show examples
 to
Use synonyms
construction
Add an article
the construction
show examples
 of the new roads, and
on the other
Linking Words
hand
Add a comma
,hand
show examples
 is
graphic
Correct article usage
a graphic
show examples
the
Change preposition
of the
show examples
 size of the
neighborhood
Change the spelling
neighbourhood
show examples
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
everry
Correct your spelling
every
 couple of years.
According to
Linking Words
 the image from 1868 until 1883 a small space of the land was busy.
Next
Linking Words
 to
the
Change the article
apply
show examples
1883-1922, the village
grrow
Correct your spelling
grow
grew
up
Change preposition
by
show examples
aproximately
Correct your spelling
approximately
 50%
that
Correct word choice
than
show examples
 the
last
Linking Words
 years.
After in
Change preposition
In
show examples
the
Change the article
apply
show examples
1922-1976, the
construction
Use synonyms
 continued
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
 increase, but the most important development was from 1970 until 1994.
In
Change preposition
On
show examples
 the topic
about
Change preposition
of
show examples
Use synonyms
construction
Add an article
the construction
show examples
 of roads,
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the map describe three important
event
Change to a plural noun
events
show examples
. In
first
Correct article usage
the first
show examples
 place is the main road,
who
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 is two
principle
Correct your spelling
principal
show examples
avenue
Fix the agreement mistake
avenues
show examples
.
In
Change preposition
Second
show examples
second
Linking Words
, Motorail was built in 1970, and
Linking Words
last
Correct article usage
the last
show examples
construction
Use synonyms
 was
railway
Correct article usage
the railway
show examples
 in 1989.
Submitted by rominahuaiquil on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "last".
▼
Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words construction with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "shows" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "map" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • village
  • population
  • increased steadily
  • middle of the nineteenth century
  • development
  • location
  • factors
  • contributing
  • physical
  • infrastructural
  • effects
  • conclusion
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