IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

The charts show the main reasons for study among students of different age groups and the amount of support they received from employer. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The charts show the main reasons for study among students of different age groups and the amount of support they received from employer. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#show #study #students #age #groups #amount #support #employer #information #features #comparisons
The charts show the main reasons for
study
 among students of different
age
group
Fix the agreement mistake
groups
show examples
 from under 26 to over 49 years and the support they have received from
Add an article
an employee
the employee
show examples
employee
Fix the agreement mistake
employees
show examples
with
Change preposition
in
show examples
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
age
 groups.
Overall
, it can be seen that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 there is a gradual decline in
Add an article
the study
a study
show examples
study
Wrong verb form
studying
show examples
 for
career
Add an article
a career
show examples
 as a purpose
while
study
Wrong verb form
studying
show examples
 for interest consistently goes up.
First
Change the article
The first
show examples
 graph indicates the majority of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
study
 for
career
Add an article
a career
show examples
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
their
Change the word
an
show examples
 early
age
although
 it decreases as
age
Correct article usage
the age
show examples
group
 increases. It is consistently going down till
age
Correct article usage
the age
show examples
group
 of 40-49 where the number of people who
study
 for
career
Correct article usage
a career
show examples
 and interest both
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 same (40%) which is exactly half amount of under 26
age
group
. Considering
Correct article usage
the over
show examples
over 49
Add a hyphen
over-49
show examples
age
group
, there is a drastic difference of 50% between reasons for
career
 and interest.
Second
Change the article
The second
show examples
 graph shows
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
employer support by providing time off and
help
Change the verb form
helps
show examples
 with fees,
by
Change preposition
to
show examples
 5 different
age
 groups. As per, observation
it is clear that
 the majority of support (almost 70 %)
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 provided by
young
Add an article
a young
the young
show examples
 generation which gradually decreases and becomes half of
age
Add an article
the age
show examples
group
 of 30-39
then
 it again goes up and
reach
Correct subject-verb agreement
reaches
show examples
 above 40%
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
age
Add an article
the age
show examples
group
 of 49.
Submitted by pratikoza25 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 87%.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words study, age, group, career with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "show" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "show" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "decreases" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "goes" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "goes" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "gradual" was used 2 times.
▼

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: