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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart show the percentage of male and female teachers in six different types of educational setting in the UK.

The chart show the percentage of male and female teachers in six different types of educational setting in the UK.
This
Linking Words
 bar chart
illustrate
Change the verb form
illustrates
show examples
 information about
proportion
Add an article
the proportion
show examples
 of men and
women
Use synonyms
 in six
type
Change to a plural noun
types
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 of educational
school
Use synonyms
 in 2010 in British. It has
from
Add a missing verb
been from
show examples
 a nursery
school
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 to
university
Correct article usage
a university
show examples
. At first glance, male and female
teachers
Use synonyms
 are different in
percentage
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 in each type of
school
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.
Women
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 predominated
in
Change preposition
among
show examples
 younger
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
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.
Nursery
Change preposition
In nursery
show examples
 and primary
school
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,
women
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 were the most posts at over 95 and 90
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percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
, respectively. For the older children and younger adults,
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percentage
Correct article usage
the percentage
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 of female
teachers
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were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
show examples
 nearly male
teachers
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. College both sexes of
teachers
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 were equal, but
secoundary
Correct your spelling
secondary
school
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women
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 were higher (
apporximately
Correct your spelling
approximately
 10
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
).
However
Linking Words
, in university, the
percentage
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 of female professors
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
show examples
 less than male professors. For men, the pattern was the reverse. merely 2 or 3
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percentage
Replace the word
per cent
show examples
 were male
teachers
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. They were equal in college, but private training
institute
Fix the agreement mistake
institutes
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 were a little higher around 10
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percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
. Male professors
predominant
Add a missing verb
are predominant
show examples
 in
university
Fix the agreement mistake
universities
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 at 70
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percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
.
Overall
Linking Words
, the figure shows that genders are
significant
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a significant
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 factor in
pattern
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the pattern
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 of employment within each educational sector.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 70%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words women, school, teachers, percentage, percent with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 4 times.
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