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We live in a world of technology these days. While the internet brings with it clear advantages, the problems in terms of control and security of information outweighs the advantages. To what extent do you agree?

#world #technology #internet #terms #control #security #information
We are living in the modern era in which technology has advanced a lot than ever before,
although
 there are so many benefits of using
internet
 for local
communities
Accept comma addition
communities, however
however
, personal
information
of
Suggestion
about
 people and society using social media and other websites is not safe. In my opinion,
internet
Suggestion
the internet
 makes life easier for individual people as well as society and local
communities but
Accept comma addition
communities, but
 I agree that it has had
damaging effect
Suggestion
a damaging effect
damaging effects
to
Suggestion
of
 security of people and internal control of companies. With regards to individuals, it is very convenient for students and professionals to find lectures and jobs online on different websites. Due to advancement in
information
 technology people find it very easy to talk with their friends and family who are living
abroad whereas
Accept comma addition
abroad, whereas
, previously people rarely get
chance
Suggestion
a chance
the chance
 to talk with their loved ones frequently. Through
internet
 people
also
 get entrepreneur
business
 ideas
for
example many
Accept comma addition
example, many
house wives
a wife who manages a household while her husband earns the family income
housewives
 runs their home made food
business
by
Suggestion
from
 home using social media groups.
On the other hand
, it is a habit of many people to share their each and every
information
 and pictures on social media
accounts
Accept comma addition
accounts, although
although
 anyone can use their pictures and personal
information
 due to
this
 privacy of individual impaired. Despite the fact that online websites provide
business
ideas but
Accept comma addition
ideas, but
 due to shared
information
any one
any person
anyone
 can steal your
business
 idea and earns more profit than your company.
For example
,
Pizza Hut recipe
Suggestion
the Pizza Hut recipe
a Pizza Hut recipe
 was very
unique but
Accept comma addition
unique, but
 one of the employees disclosed that recipe, now we can find cheap and tasty pizza from anywhere other than Pizza Hut. To conclude,
although
internet
 helps local communities and society in many ways, but
internet
Suggestion
the internet
have
Suggestion
has
detrimental impact
Suggestion
a detrimental impact
 on businesses and companies. In order to
this
, companies
need s
Suggestion
need
needs
 to invest
on
Suggestion
in
 their internal controls and security
Submitted by yaqoobmahwish on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • global connectivity
  • digital banking
  • cybersecurity
  • data protection
  • security breaches
  • cyber attacks
  • online transactions
  • digital divide
  • surveillance
  • freedom of information
  • responsible usage
  • ethical considerations
  • digital footprints
  • online behavior
  • information inequality
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