We live in a world of technology these days. While the internet brings with it clear advantages, the problems in terms of control and security of information outweighs the advantages. To what extent do you agree?

We are living in the modern era in which technology has advanced a lot than ever before,
although
there are so many benefits of using
internet
for local
communities
Accept comma addition
communities, however
however
, personal
information
of
Suggestion
about
people and society using social media and other websites is not safe. In my opinion,
internet
Suggestion
the internet
makes life easier for individual people as well as society and local
communities but
Accept comma addition
communities, but
I agree that it has had
damaging effect
Suggestion
a damaging effect
damaging effects
to
Suggestion
of
security of people and internal control of companies. With regards to individuals, it is very convenient for students and professionals to find lectures and jobs online on different websites. Due to advancement in
information
technology people find it very easy to talk with their friends and family who are living
abroad whereas
Accept comma addition
abroad, whereas
, previously people rarely get
chance
Suggestion
a chance
the chance
to talk with their loved ones frequently. Through
internet
people
also
get entrepreneur
business
ideas
for
example many
Accept comma addition
example, many
house wives
a wife who manages a household while her husband earns the family income
housewives
runs their home made food
business
by
Suggestion
from
home using social media groups.
On the other hand
, it is a habit of many people to share their each and every
information
and pictures on social media
accounts
Accept comma addition
accounts, although
although
anyone can use their pictures and personal
information
due to
this
privacy of individual impaired. Despite the fact that online websites provide
business
ideas but
Accept comma addition
ideas, but
due to shared
information
any one
any person
anyone
can steal your
business
idea and earns more profit than your company.
For example
,
Pizza Hut recipe
Suggestion
the Pizza Hut recipe
a Pizza Hut recipe
was very
unique but
Accept comma addition
unique, but
one of the employees disclosed that recipe, now we can find cheap and tasty pizza from anywhere other than Pizza Hut. To conclude,
although
internet
helps local communities and society in many ways, but
internet
Suggestion
the internet
have
Suggestion
has
detrimental impact
Suggestion
a detrimental impact
on businesses and companies. In order to
this
, companies
need s
Suggestion
need
needs
to invest
on
Suggestion
in
their internal controls and security

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Read more in the eBook

The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »

* free ebook for Premium users

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

What to do next:
Speaking9

I have a gift for you 🎁

Let me thank you for using this site and give you free Premium access to my other service Speaking9. There you can master your speaking skills. For your part, just promise that you will do your best to pass the exam successfully.

Try other services:

All the services are free for Premium users