The traditional life style of local people in developing countries is attracting and increasing the number of tourists to the countries which has the effect of preventing local people changing to modern ways. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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It is an irrefutable fact that the trend of the changing world from traditional to modern technology is increasing day by day. Becoming into the modern world
attract
Correct subject-verb agreement
attracts
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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people from outside,
as well as
Linking Words
affecting the traditional culture and
force
Wrong verb form
forcing
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them to turn into
modern
Correct article usage
the modern
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way. In my opinion, I agree with the statement and in
this
Linking Words
essay, I intend to explain my view before
reasonable
Add an article
a reasonable
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conclusion can be drawn. There are several reasons why it is possible to change people and their traditional methods.
Firstly
Linking Words
, nowadays every country wants to change
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
their lifestyle and infrastructure to make
easy
Correct pronoun usage
it easy
show examples
for everyone and develop their economic growth. Because of
this
Linking Words
, everyone
attracts
Wrong verb form
is attracted
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towards
the
Correct article usage
apply
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new buildings and new technology, which make
them
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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easier
folk’s
Change noun form
folk
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life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
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,
such
Linking Words
as underground metro trains, wending machines and so on.
According to
Linking Words
the research conducted by the Indian government found that after the rebuilt of outside the
golden temple
Correct your spelling
Golden Temple
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in Amritsar
city
Capitalize word
City
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, the lifestyle of
local
Correct article usage
the local
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community
becomes
Wrong verb form
became
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more convenient and more tourists
are coming
Wrong verb form
came
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from other nations. On the other side, these things
effected
Verb problem
have
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continuously on the local person
as well as
Linking Words
their old traditional ways.
Moreover
Linking Words
,Some people assert that
the
Correct article usage
apply
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renovating old cultural
building
Fix the agreement mistake
buildings
show examples
could bad impact on the next generation, like forgetting the history of the country. For
an
Correct article usage
apply
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instance,
remodel
Wrong verb form
remodelling
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the
wild life
Correct your spelling
wildlife
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century in India
create
Verb problem
had
show examples
a bad impact on
the
Correct article usage
apply
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wild animals
such
Linking Words
as
camouflage
Correct article usage
the camouflage
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of the national bird Peacock.  To put
in
Correct pronoun usage
it in
show examples
a nutshell, I
pen down
Verb problem
apply
show examples
and say that introducing
with
Change preposition
apply
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the modern way is good for
comprehensive
Correct article usage
the comprehensive
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growth of the nation. But, the government should focus on the traditional lifestyle.

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coherence cohesion
Focus on structuring your essay with clear introduction, body, and conclusion paragraphs. Use linking words and cohesive devices to improve the flow of your ideas.
task response
Ensure that you fully address the prompt by providing a comprehensive and balanced response. Use specific examples and develop your ideas more fully to improve task achievement.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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