The traditional life style of local people in developing countries is attracting and increasing the number of tourists to the countries which has the effect of preventing local people changing to modern ways. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

It is an irrefutable fact that the trend of the changing world from traditional to modern technology is increasing day by day. Becoming into the modern world
attract
Correct subject-verb agreement
attracts
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people from outside,
as well as
affecting the traditional culture and
force
Wrong verb form
forcing
show examples
them to turn into
modern
Correct article usage
the modern
show examples
way. In my opinion, I agree with the statement and in
this
essay, I intend to explain my view before
reasonable
Add an article
a reasonable
show examples
conclusion can be drawn. There are several reasons why it is possible to change people and their traditional methods.
Firstly
, nowadays every country wants to change
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
their lifestyle and infrastructure to make
easy
Correct pronoun usage
it easy
show examples
for everyone and develop their economic growth. Because of
this
, everyone
attracts
Wrong verb form
is attracted
show examples
towards
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
new buildings and new technology, which make
them
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
easier
folk’s
Change noun form
folk
show examples
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
,
such
as underground metro trains, wending machines and so on.
According to
the research conducted by the Indian government found that after the rebuilt of outside the
golden temple
Correct your spelling
Golden Temple
show examples
in Amritsar
city
Capitalize word
City
show examples
, the lifestyle of
local
Correct article usage
the local
show examples
community
becomes
Wrong verb form
became
show examples
more convenient and more tourists
are coming
Wrong verb form
came
show examples
from other nations. On the other side, these things
effected
Verb problem
have
show examples
continuously on the local person
as well as
their old traditional ways.
Moreover
,Some people assert that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
renovating old cultural
building
Fix the agreement mistake
buildings
show examples
could bad impact on the next generation, like forgetting the history of the country. For
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
instance,
remodel
Wrong verb form
remodelling
show examples
the
wild life
Correct your spelling
wildlife
show examples
century in India
create
Verb problem
had
show examples
a bad impact on
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
wild animals
such
as
camouflage
Correct article usage
the camouflage
show examples
of the national bird Peacock.  To put
in
Correct pronoun usage
it in
show examples
a nutshell, I
pen down
Verb problem
apply
show examples
and say that introducing
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the modern way is good for
comprehensive
Correct article usage
the comprehensive
show examples
growth of the nation. But, the government should focus on the traditional lifestyle.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Focus on structuring your essay with clear introduction, body, and conclusion paragraphs. Use linking words and cohesive devices to improve the flow of your ideas.
task response
Ensure that you fully address the prompt by providing a comprehensive and balanced response. Use specific examples and develop your ideas more fully to improve task achievement.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: