Some people think that some type of criminals should not go to prison, instead they should do unpaid work in the community. To what extent do you agree?

Variety
Correct article usage
A variety
show examples
of crimes are being punished by
prison
,
however
Add the comma(s)
however,
show examples
some people believe that certain offenders should not be imprisoned ,rather they should do community
services
Fix the agreement mistake
service
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. I agree that in some cases,
prison
may not be the best solution and community
work
will help them to rehabilitate. The first thing to consider is
the
Correct determiner usage
that
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young offenders,
which
Fix the agreement mistake
who
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are
being
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
involved in all
type
Fix the agreement mistake
types
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of crimes, can never be put into
the
Correct article usage
apply
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prison
.
This
is because the children’s
mind
Fix the agreement mistake
minds
show examples
can be moulded easily, so before giving them harsh punishment the whole matter should be looked for.
For instance
, several mobsters force needy kids to do illegal acts for the sake of money, which
make
Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
show examples
them delinquent juveniles. The rest of the life of the youngsters can be saved by teaching them good deeds along with
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
community works so that they can understand the value of their life. The second thing to be considered is that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
drug addicted
Add a hyphen
drug-addicted
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persons, who are
culprit
Fix the agreement mistake
culprits
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can never be imprisoned. The reason is that they commit crimes to feed their destructive addiction, so they need a rehabilitation centre,
besides
of giving them a pitiless punishment in a
prison
.
For example
, if a
drug
addicted person
involves
Wrong verb form
is involved
show examples
in
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
social
work
then
it would be possible for him to overcome the
drug
craving. Several
drug
addict persons can be able to do the
work
for the welfare of their societies and it would definitely
helps
Change the verb form
help
show examples
in the growth of communities. In conclusion, putting criminals in
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
prison
is not the only way to rehabilitate the criminals. There should be a proper investigation of an offender and a crime .I strongly believe that social
work
without any pay is one of the best
way
Change to a plural noun
ways
show examples
to
deterrent
Replace the word
deter
show examples
them which benefits both society and the
offende
Correct your spelling
offender
offence
offended

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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