Some people think that music plays an important role in society. Others think it is simply a form of entertainment. Discuss both sides and give your opinion

People have different views about whether

music

Use synonyms

is only a way of entertainment or it

also

Linking Words

plays a crucial part in humanity. In

this

Linking Words

essay, both these ideas will be examined before my perspective, which supports the former side of the argument, is given. On the one hand, the main function of

music

Use synonyms

is to provide us a relaxed and harmonious atmosphere.

Firstly

Linking Words

music

Use synonyms

is capable of changing our mood, which can alter our feelings.

As a result

Linking Words

, several use

music

Use synonyms

to reduce stress in study or at work, or a turn of phrase,

music

Use synonyms

can refresh your mind.

Secondly

Linking Words

Use synonyms

music

Suggestion

the music

is said to be in a limelight due to its ability to bring about energy. It is a fact that numerous people, find it more satisfied and enjoyable to work while listening to their favourite piece of

music

Use synonyms

therefore

Linking Words

, the productivity will properly be enhanced.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, I strongly believe that

besides

Linking Words

the entertaining, we should

also

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emphasize the integral part of singing other fields in life.

singing

Suggestion

Singing

has a paramount importance in health and medical area. Many doctors and psychologists use rock as a therapy to treat their patients who suffer from mental problems

such

Linking Words

as depression or autism.

Furthermore

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, there are numbers of evidences prove that some special types of piece can improve our intelligence, which one is called the Mozart effects.

Likewise

Linking Words

melody

Suggestion

the melody

makes an invaluable contribution to national culture and tradition. It is indisputable that though

pop rap

Accept comma addition

pop, rap

seems to dominate the entertainment market nowadays, it can never replace folk and traditional opera. Those types of rap not only tell stories and deliver life lessons, but they can

also

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raise awareness to young generation.

Moreover

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, some songs

such

Linking Words

as national anthem can evoke the compatriots and the national pride, so it cannot be considered as a form of relaxation only. In conclusion, despite its amusing function, we should consider the importance of

soul

Suggestion

the soul

in different areas in life. From my viewpoint, tune, as long as a form of language, can

also

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have more precious meanings.

abdullahisilti

Mar 6, 2020

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

342 words

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Some people think that music plays an important role in society. Others think it is simply a form of entertainment. Discuss both sides and give your opinion

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some people think students should study the science of food and how to prepare it. Others think students should spend time on important subjects. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Nowadays, there is a trend that reports of media focus on problems and emergencies rather than positive development. Some people think it is harmful to individuals and to society. To what extent do you agree or disagree ?

Some people think that the government should make laws regarding nutrition and healthy lifestyle, while others think that it is a matter of personal choice and personal responsibility. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

some people believe the best way to tackle pollution is by paying tax others disagree. discuss both views and state your opinion

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Watching television is bad