IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

More and more people are allowing their children to play on computer and tablets as they think that children should learn technology skills. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

#people #children #computer #tablets #technology #skills #development
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In
this
Linking Words
 contemporary world, everyone is following different ways to make their work easy by using technology devices. Children are the future of
this
Linking Words
 nation. So, in
this
Linking Words
 way they should use some electronic gadgets and should
also
Linking Words
 gain knowledge. I will put shine on advantages.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, parents are the one who
always think
Suggestion
always thinks
 the best for their children.
Moreover
Linking Words
, if one is using gadgets to become profound.
Then
Linking Words
 nothing is better for scholars. When a learner
use
Suggestion
uses
 new thing they can easily learn all the things which are in their studies and because of
this
Linking Words
, useful electronic devices they can do anything.
For instance
Linking Words
, in Kerala there was a group of students who made a satellite by looking on
youtube
Suggestion
YouTube
 and won the certificate of working good. Moving
further
Linking Words
, scholars are the upcoming generation who needs to be more attentive.
Guardian
Suggestion
The guardian
A guardian
 should allow their child to play
on
Suggestion
with
 different gadgets. So, they can open their mind and learn new things as well as methods to make their study simple.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, using
kinds
Suggestion
the kinds
 of devices is not good for learners because their eyes and mind
gets
Suggestion
get
effected
acted upon; influenced
affected
 more. Due to
this
Linking Words
, they
donot
Suggestion
do not
 concentrate on their academics. To conclude, I opine that in today's modern era, every
parents
Suggestion
parent
 wants to make their children develop in every skill. They should use technology devices in
there
of them or themselves
their
 free time.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: