in some countries, fast food restaurants and supermarkets give money to schools to promote their products. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

Localized businesses
such
as hotels and shopping-malls sometimes donates money to educational institutions for the sake of promotion. While some people might consider
this
act preposterous, I,
however
, believe that the drawbacks are eclipsed by the advantages which I will present in subsequent paragraphs.
First
of all, Money donated by these businesses helps in the development of schools, which
otherwise
would not have been possible by government funds.
This
means that the funds allocated by
government
Suggestion
the government
can merely be used to cover the expenses leaving no possibility for expansion. Coca Cola,
for example
, took the responsibility for
maintenance
Suggestion
the maintenance
of schools in
Sindh some
Accept comma addition
Sindh, some
of which were in devastated condition.
Additionally
, local companies sponsor events
such
as sports tournaments and science projects fair in institutions which leads students to exposure and help them groom for future by taking part in these contests.
Secondly
,
this
advertising stunt
also provide
Suggestion
also provides
information about
latest products
Suggestion
the latest products
to adolescence and families which help them better reach their desired product.
For example
, Unilever promoted safeguard soup by conducting school to school tour and giving free samples and brochures to
children providing
Accept comma addition
children, providing
information about anti-bacterial soup so that families understand its need.
Furthermore
, by the expansions of these small companies, society benefits overall as they increase job opportunities and new choices
such
as
latest products
Suggestion
the latest products
and dining options, as it is always considered better to have
variety
Suggestion
a variety
of options available to choose from.
For example
, it is better to have food choices like Chinese, Turkish or Italian, rather than just
desi
Suggestion
Desi
food. In conclusion, by promoting products in school, not only the
companies
Suggestion
company
company's
benefits
by
Suggestion
of
better reaching
customers but
Accept comma addition
customers, but
also
society gets facilitated by
constructional expansion
Suggestion
the constructional expansion
of schools, new events and increment in available jobs.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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