Some people believe that music should be taught in schools, while others think that it is best to focus on computer and science. What is your opinion?

Education has been evolving by leaps and bounds and providing students new avenues while keeping themselves updated with the need of working industries.
Therefore
, a fair amount of people believe, schools should focus on important subjects
such
as
computer
and
science
. In my opinion,
music
also
plays a crucial part in children's development and
this
essay will explain why.
First
of all,
music
is an art, but
also
a
science
, which is why it is important for children to learn
this
subject at school. It requires a skill to understand the theory, and a creativity to apply and to produce the art. The example for
this
is the vast amount of musical scales and how artists apply these theories to compose a song.
Secondly
, studies
also
proven that by learning
music
, it increases the children's cognitive ability. Students who are practicing in
music
are often found equally proficient in other subjects like
computer
and
science
. A good example of
this
is the
music
theory itself, where one require to calculate the movements of the keys ahead while playing an instrument.
This
activity trains the agility of one's mind and at the same time, increase the cognitive skills.
Lastly
,
music
is
also
a career path where for some is a passion.
Similarly
to
computer
and
science
,
music
, today, there are people who work in the
music
industry.
This
is supported by many musical academies today and they are as good as those IT or
science
schools. Berkley,
for instance
, a renounce university who specialized in preparing its student to work in the
music
industry. To conclude, while
computer
and
science
are required by the industry today, I believe
music
plays an important role to boost student's cognitive skills as well as one's passion if being taught in the schools. Given the above, I recommend for education authority to include
music
to be part of the education curriculum.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: