IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

Small business should avoid recruiting young women who do not have their own family in order to avoid paying maternity leave later on. To what level do you agree or disagree?

#business #women #maternity #level
In an
organisation
, the Company has a policy and procedure set for all the type of
staff
the tangible substance that goes into the makeup of a physical object
stuff
. Medium size enterprises must not hire young female who does not have their own family in order to restrict payment of maternity leave. I completely disagree with the notion because it is discrimination done by the employers and
also
 stoping
this
 female from becoming independent.
To begin
 with, People opposing for hiring female at age of 20s considering future payments related to maternity benefit are absolutely discriminating. It is a fundamental right of the people to decide having a baby at the initial or latter stage is up to the
staff
. Selecting the
staff
 based on
this
 family background is doing injustice in society. All the female have right to decide about their future and family and companies do not have authority to decide.
For instance
, In USA,
organisation
Suggestion
organisations
the organisation
 can hire a male or female of any age and there is not
such
 segregation of
staff
the tangible substance that goes into the makeup of a physical object
stuff
 done.
Furthermore
, SME
organisation
 restricting hiring of alone lady
staff
 is obstructing them individually. Female in most urban cities opts to stay alone without taking the support of their parents. In order to survive alone, they need money and
hence
 they work in small stores and entities to meet their daily needs requirement. If women decide to lead
life
Suggestion
lives
live
 happily without any support from their relative it is his own decision to do so,
organisation
 need to be concerned with the work and should not stop female in leading a happy life solely. Example of USA, Teenager girls leaves their parents house after 18 and by federal law, they have complete authority to decide on their own. In conclusion, Discrimanting and independence are two reasons for my strong disagreement for
this
 notion.
Submitted by finewahab on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: