IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some parents buy their children a large number of toys to play with. What are the advantages and disadvantages for the child of having a large number of toys?

#parents #children #toys #child
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In recent decades, parents are getting more aware about their offsprings. They spend a huge amount of money to buy a
toys
Suggestion
toy
 for them. In
this
Linking Words
 essay, I shall examine the advantages as well as disadvantages of having a large
number
Use synonyms
 of toys.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, some parents buy toys to make their offspring happy and
also
Linking Words
 they believed that having toy in their
life
Use synonyms
 are more joy able and
also
Linking Words
 a great for source of
time
Use synonyms
 pass. Having toys is
also
Linking Words
 more beneficial for their mind development.
In addition
Linking Words
 to
this
Linking Words
, it is
oftenly
Suggestion
 seen the behaviour of the offsprings who used to spend more
time
Use synonyms
 with toys are very calm and a very reticent kind of. Their mindset is
also
Linking Words
 developing
accordingly
Linking Words
 because of that the literacy skills are increasing rapidly due to which they perform
excellent
Suggestion
excellently
 in the academic curriculum. On the other side, it is
also
Linking Words
 assumed that having a large
number
Use synonyms
 of toys and spending more
time
Use synonyms
 with them is
also
Linking Words
 badly effect for offspring health due to which they got depressed and many other diseases. A children's care organisation has recently done their studies on children having large
number
Use synonyms
 of toys and t they have found that having a large
number
Use synonyms
 of toys and spending more
time
Use synonyms
 with them is the main reason of depression and
also
Linking Words
 they are unaware about social
life
Use synonyms
. The researcher
also
Linking Words
 mentioned the lack physical fitness in offspring having large
number
Use synonyms
 of
Use synonyms
time
Suggestion
times
. In the conclusion, I would like to mention that toys in child
life
Use synonyms
 are good because they do not make them feel alone, but the parents should
also
Linking Words
 spend more
time
Use synonyms
to play
Suggestion
playing
 with their children and make them aware about physical fitness and social
life
Use synonyms
 which are the basic need of human
life
Use synonyms
.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
    What to do next:
    Look at other essays: