IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

More and more companies are allowing employee to work at home. Do you think this is a positive or negative development

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We are already in industrialization era where many organizations are inventing a lot of
type
Suggestion
types
the type
 of measure that they can apply it
into
Suggestion
in
 their
work
Use synonyms
 circumstances.
Therefore
Linking Words
, more companies have a tendency to permit their employees to
work
Use synonyms
 at home. I strongly believe their method will bring a buoyant development to their workers.
Firstly
Linking Words
, by working at each employee
house
Use synonyms
 I believe it can boost up workers
work
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, their
house
Use synonyms
 circumstances are more likely to have
better vibe
Suggestion
a better vibe
 rather than their workplace, because support from family while we
work
Use synonyms
 at home are feeling more soothing rather than in their
office
Use synonyms
.
In addition
Linking Words
, there was a survey conducted by Professor
Thomas Abigail
Accept comma addition
Thomas, Abigail
 from Harvard University. He asked many workers on his
house
Use synonyms
 circumstances to participate in his survey and the result is 65% of them are feeling more comfortable working
at
Suggestion
on
 their own
house
Use synonyms
, and 25% of them are feeling
more comfy
Suggestion
more comfortable
 working at their workplace. While, the remaining 10% say that they are having fun in both places.
Secondly
Linking Words
, due to the fact that
work
Use synonyms
 in
Use synonyms
office
Suggestion
an office
 can bring pressure and many kinds of unwell feelings.
Therefore
Linking Words
, many employees will accept the offer from their boss to
work
Use synonyms
 at their home because they can feel more
relax
Suggestion
relaxed
 and can
work
Use synonyms
 properly as they should.
In addition
Linking Words
, we can use our own measure to solve our
work
Use synonyms
 task.
For example
Linking Words
; I have a
nephew he
Accept comma addition
nephew, he
 is a programmer and currently he is a part of a famous programming
office
Use synonyms
 in USA. He always sits in front of his laptop every time
he
male possessive pronoun
his
work
Use synonyms
 and he never come to the
office
Use synonyms
 because he feels uncomfortable with the situation. All in all, working at our own
house
Use synonyms
 can bring many merits. But it is depended on each individuals

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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