IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart below shows the places visited by different people living in Canada

The chart below shows the places visited by different people living in Canada
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The bar chart illustrates the places where
people
Use synonyms
 can
joint
Correct your spelling
join
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 free-time activities of three different
people
Use synonyms
 groups, namely: native
Canadians
Use synonyms
,
people
Use synonyms
 who migrate
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
 English-speaking
countries
Use synonyms
 and
people
Use synonyms
do
Correct pronoun usage
who do
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 not speak English in other
countries
Use synonyms
.
Overall
Linking Words
, it
clears
Add a missing verb
is clears
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 that
Canadians
Use synonyms
 and new
migrants
Use synonyms
 born in English-speaking
countries
Use synonyms
 tend to go to the cinema;
by contrast
Linking Words
, new
migrants
Use synonyms
 non-English-speaking prefer the library to the cinema. The
theater
Change the spelling
theatre
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 is
kind
Correct article usage
a kind
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 of activity with the lowest percentage of all three
people
Use synonyms
 groups. Obviously, the proportion of native
Canadians
Use synonyms
Correct pronoun usage
who go
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go
Change the verb form
goes
show examples
 to the cinema at 70%, compared to approximately 65% of
migrants
Use synonyms
 from English-speaking
nation
Fix the agreement mistake
nations
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 and 50% of
migrants
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 from other
countries
Use synonyms
.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, the library is
kind
Correct article usage
a kind
show examples
 of activity with the highest proportion of
Canadians
Use synonyms
 is 55%. The percentage of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
English-speaking
migrants
Use synonyms
 going to the
theater
Change the spelling
theatre
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 is shorter than the proportion of
Canadians
Use synonyms
 about 5%,
while
Linking Words
 the percentage of
migrants
Use synonyms
 from non-English-speaking
countries
Use synonyms
 is only 10%.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words people, canadians, countries, migrants with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "go" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "go" was used 3 times.
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