IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart below shows the places visited by different people living in Canada

The chart below shows the places visited by different people living in Canada
#places #people #canada
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The bar chart illustrates the places where
people
 can
joint
Correct your spelling
join
show examples
 free-time activities of three different
people
 groups, namely: native
Canadians
,
people
 who migrate
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
 English-speaking
countries
 and
people
do
Correct pronoun usage
who do
show examples
 not speak English in other
countries
.
Overall
, it
clears
Add a missing verb
is clears
show examples
 that
Canadians
 and new
migrants
 born in English-speaking
countries
 tend to go to the cinema;
by contrast
, new
migrants
 non-English-speaking prefer the library to the cinema. The
theater
Change the spelling
theatre
show examples
 is
kind
Correct article usage
a kind
show examples
 of activity with the lowest percentage of all three
people
 groups. Obviously, the proportion of native
Canadians
Correct pronoun usage
who go
show examples
go
Change the verb form
goes
show examples
 to the cinema at 70%, compared to approximately 65% of
migrants
 from English-speaking
nation
Fix the agreement mistake
nations
show examples
 and 50% of
migrants
 from other
countries
.
Nevertheless
, the library is
kind
Correct article usage
a kind
show examples
 of activity with the highest proportion of
Canadians
 is 55%. The percentage of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
English-speaking
migrants
 going to the
theater
Change the spelling
theatre
show examples
 is shorter than the proportion of
Canadians
 about 5%,
while
 the percentage of
migrants
 from non-English-speaking
countries
 is only 10%.
Submitted by nguyennhancrazy on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words people, canadians, countries, migrants with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "go" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "go" was used 3 times.
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