Many people think that happiness relies on the responsibility of individuals, others think that it is affected by other factors. Discuss both views and state your opinion by using examples from your personal experience.

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Most people argue that economic

success

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is the most important

factor

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in getting personal

happiness

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. While I accept that argument, I believe that many factors which make someone happy. Many people say that direct

factor

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of personal

happiness

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is financial

success

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because of many reasons.

Firstly

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, people can buy everything they need and they want when they

success

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in gaining their own money.

For example

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, they want to buy a lot of gadgets, they can buy them because they get what they want by

money

Suggestion

the money

they have.

Secondly

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, people experience that people who reach

success

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in economy have high social status. Other people give more respect to rich people. Being respected by societies makes successful people happier than poor people.

Therefore

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, some people say that economic

success

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has a direct effect of

happiness

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because of reasons mentioned above.

On the contrary

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, other people believe that there are other factors which influence people to be happy.

Linking Words

First

Suggestion

The first factor

factor

Use synonyms

is a physical condition. People feel happy when they are healthy. They say that nothing is useful when they get sick because unwell body is the worst condition.

For example

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, they cannot eat the most delicious meals in the world when they get so many ulcers in their mouth.

Linking Words

Second

Suggestion

The second factor

A second factor

factor

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is a psychological condition.

For instance

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, people cannot feel the

happiness

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of getting lottery when they are in mental sickness,

such

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as delusion or hallucination. They will feel suffered because the voice in the hallucination says that they will be murdered. To sum up, most people feel happy when their

success

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in the economy.

However

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, people will be happier than others when they succeed, not only financially but

also

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physically and mentally.

Mon Mar 09 2020

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11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

280 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

individual responsibility
personal mindset
proactive steps
self-improvement
socio-economic status
relationships
environmental conditions
external factors
positive attitude
pursuit of happiness
facilitate
hamper
proactive engagement
sense of achievement
conducive environment

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Many people think that happiness relies on the responsibility of individuals, others think that it is affected by other factors. Discuss both views and state your opinion by using examples from your personal experience.

The Internet is generally considered as a blessing for mankind. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Nowadays, more people are choosing to socialise online rather than face to face. Is this a positive or a negative development?

Some people think that students benefit greatly from going to private secondary schools, but others assert that private secondary schools have a negative impact on the young generation and the society alike. Discuss both views.

The differences between countries are becoming less and less evident. People all over the world wear the same fashions, watch the same t.v. channels, use the same brands and have similar eating habits. Do you think that the advantages of this trend outweigh the disadvantages?