For schoolchildren, their teachers have more influence on their intelligence and social development than their parents. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Education seems to be the most important field in a country. Some individuals insist that teachers have a far-reaching impact on
pupil’s minds
Suggestion
the pupils’ minds
pupils’ minds
and social growth while parents are believed to play a considerable role in that
by
Suggestion
with
others. I hold both views since they together create one’s bright future. Without any doubt, teachers are the most reliable people to teach students indispensable
knowledge
Use synonyms
about humans and the world.
Then
Linking Words
, in the future, they will need the
knowledge
Use synonyms
a lot to be able to pursue
further
Linking Words
education or apply for jobs that require their understanding of fundamental academic information that they are taught in schools.
Therefore
Linking Words
, teachers partly decide how successful and brainy their students are
basing
Suggestion
based
on the quality of
knowledge
Use synonyms
they deliver. What is more, it is undeniable that
tutors
Suggestion
the tutors
have the most experience in instructing young children how to behave tactfully and politely to others.
For example
Linking Words
, they can give several advisable tips for pupils when they have problems with their best friends or similar situations which happen in students’
life
Use synonyms
and are only understood by teachers rather than mothers or fathers.
In contrast
Linking Words
, while most of the responsibility for comprehension of a child normally falls on
schoolteachers
Suggestion
school teachers
, parents are the most crucial ones who are responsible for his social development. They are the closest people
to
Suggestion
in
a child’s
life
Use synonyms
and spend the most time with them. Their family members’
behaviors
manner of acting or controlling yourself
behaviours
and attitudes in basic
Use synonyms
life
Accept comma addition
life, therefore
therefore
Linking Words
strongly influence children who are more likely to imitate them. For
this
Linking Words
reason, parents are extremely crucial during the maturity process of their kids as they explain to them how to obey table manners, say sorry when they make mistakes and other social conventions.
Moreover
Linking Words
, students can broaden their common
knowledge
Use synonyms
outside textbooks through daily
life
Use synonyms
,
traveling
the act of going from one place to another
travelling
with family or questioning their grandparents about something practical. To illustrate, I do not always remember geographic lessons in my school.
However
Linking Words
, by witnessing breathtaking spots when we visit a region, I am
finally
Linking Words
well-informed about wind directions, destinations, and
culture
Suggestion
cultural
. Summing up, I do claim that if primary children are lack of educational support from either educators or parents, they cannot develop well because their roles are equally essential.
Submitted by dohuong01072005 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: