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Writing Samples /
Band 7

Some people think parents should supervise their children’s activities closely, while others believe children should have more freedom. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #parents #children’s #activities #children #freedom
Some would argue that parents should overprotect their children, while others claim that children can make decisions on their own. While some parents spend whole their time to
grew
Suggestion
grow
 up their children, I believe that it is better to present them more freedom. On the one hand, many parents can feel fear about the improper upbringing of their children.
Therefore
, they spend all their spare time or even quit a job to care about their children properly.
In addition
, parents usually set some rules and goals for children to achieve some excellent success in study or sport.
For example
, many grand athletes and scientists have raised in
such
 an environment that gave them feelings of safety and emotional security, so they spent their time doing their purposes.
However
, I am convinced that overprotective father and mother are not able to give children a strong character to deal with the real challenges of the world.
On the other hand
, it is thought that some households try to prepare children to deal with the world on their own.
In other words
, if children are more independent in their choices and decisions, they will be able to interact with surrounding people efficiently.
Moreover
, children often say that their childhoods were fulfilling because they were able to do everything that they want. It is true that many successful persons built leadership natures in their formative years. I believe that
this
 way of the nurture is preferable because it allows children to grow up as they want according to their preferences. In conclusion,
although
proper
Suggestion
properly
 bring ups of children often leads to achievements in education and sport, parents should give their children more freedom due to only one reason which is
happiness
Suggestion
the happiness
 of carelessness that they only can feel in their childhood.
Submitted by main.man on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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