IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people believe that children’s leisure activities must be educational, otherwise they are a complete waste of time. Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your aswer and include any relevant examples from your experience.

#people #children’s #leisure #activities #waste #time #aswer
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Spare
time
Use synonyms
 activities
is considered
Suggestion
are considered
 for some people
such
Linking Words
 as part of the educational plan.
However
Linking Words
, certain demographics of society think that the leisure
time
Use synonyms
 is only a waste of
time
Use synonyms
. In my opinion, I agree with the free
time
Use synonyms
 should be included in the
studies’
Suggestion
study
 programs, due to
this
Linking Words
 would help to create other abilities. Some people
are agree
Suggestion
agree
 with the
time
Use synonyms
 at the school only be used for regular subjects
such
Linking Words
 as: math, language, science.
This
Linking Words
 argument in general
express
Suggestion
expresses
 that it does not have leisure activities would mean that the children could share a quality
time
Use synonyms
 with their parents.
For instance
Linking Words
, in the
past there
Accept comma addition
past, there
 was not available a recreation
such
Linking Words
 as course for children, and
this
Linking Words
 allow have a more familiar life.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, for the current
time
Use synonyms
 I think is not
possible
Suggestion
possibly
 understand the school
such
Linking Words
 as
institution
Suggestion
an institution
 where the people only assist for learn regular subjects. In my
opnion
a personal belief or judgment that is not founded on proof or certainty
opinion
 the primary and
secunday
being of second rank or importance or value; not direct or immediate
secondary
 should incorporate
obligatorialy
in an obligatory manner
obligatorily
lesure
time available for ease and relaxation
leisure
lesser
time
Use synonyms
, because in the modern world the people have to work their soft skills. When we are adults,
for instance
Linking Words
, in the workplace is more relevant have emotional
inteligence
the ability to comprehend; to understand and profit from experience
intelligence
intelligent
 than other kinds of abilities, and the moment for
learn
Suggestion
learning
this
Linking Words
 is in the
school
Accept comma addition
school, although
although
Linking Words
 of recreation
such
Linking Words
 as sports, dance, club of
lecture
Suggestion
lectures
the lecture
,
for example
Linking Words
. In conclusion, in my view the
lesure
time available for ease and relaxation
leisure
larger
laser
time
Use synonyms
 is essential for the children today, since
this
Linking Words
help
Suggestion
helps
 them to cultivate other soft abilities. In
this
Linking Words
 way,
this
Linking Words
also
Linking Words
 would be a great contribution for the education, and if
this
Linking Words
 enhance the world
also
Linking Words
 improve.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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