Some people think having set retirement age of 65 years for everybody, regardless of occupation, is unfair. They believe that certain workers deserve to retire and receive pension at an earlier age.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
When we look at the society we find different occupations for various
class
Suggestion
classes
of people. Each person has a common set of
last
Linking Words
working
age
Use synonyms
. I
belive
accept as true; take to be true
believe
that out of the large
poplution
the people who inhabit a territory or state
population
populations
of the
world there
Accept comma addition
world, there
are few
group
Suggestion
groups
of people who think that it is not justifiable if one same
age
Use synonyms
is
ste
put into a certain place or abstract location
set
sought
steep
as
Suggestion
at
a retirement
age
Use synonyms
. All
Use synonyms
kind
Suggestion
kinds
of jobs require different skills to
work
Use synonyms
. In consideration to the same even the earnings are not similar.
Therefore
Linking Words
, in my
view individual
Accept comma addition
view, individual
vocation should not have a similar
age
Use synonyms
as set for their
last
Linking Words
age
Use synonyms
to
work
Use synonyms
.
Pension
Suggestion
A pension that is
that is
Linking Words
attained after completion of one's
emplyment
the state of being employed or having a job
employment
is one
kind
Use synonyms
of a component in the salary. A
kind
Use synonyms
of an employment where more amount of physical
strength not
Accept comma addition
strength, not
only owe to get settled at an earlier
age
Use synonyms
but
also
Linking Words
desrve
be worthy or deserving
deserve
to get their pension early.
This
Linking Words
will ultimately help them to rest early and take care of
themself
reflexive form of "them"
themselves
.
Contary
Suggestion
Contrary
to the above another
kind
Use synonyms
of job where more intellectual skill is used rather than
phyical
involving the body as distinguished from the mind or spirit
physical
skill, can have more strength to extend their working efforts at a certain higher
age
Use synonyms
.
Therefore
Linking Words
, these
kind
Use synonyms
of community can survive to
work
Use synonyms
more than the other
age
Use synonyms
group. According to me they do not suffer much in
phycial
involving the body as distinguished from the mind or spirit
physical
health incase they
work
Use synonyms
more.
Hence
Linking Words
, to recapitulate
acertaining
establish after a calculation, investigation, experiment, survey, or study
ascertaining
a
fix
Suggestion
fixed
retirement
age
Use synonyms
has been
bery
used as an intensifier
very
arbitary
based on or subject to individual discretion or preference or sometimes impulse or caprice
arbitrary
to
few
Suggestion
a few kinds
few kinds
kind
Use synonyms
of groups. It shall be more helpful for
thoes
plural of that
those
these
this
community
Suggestion
communities
who owe to get their pension at an early
age
Use synonyms
. In my
view the
Accept comma addition
view, the
people of the society will be more satisfied in the event they have been given an opportunity to select their retirement
age
Use synonyms
.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: