Shopping has become a new favorite pastime for the younger generation. Why is this the case? Should we encourage them to develop other hobbies too?

#pastime #generation #case #hobbies

Nowadays adolescent are selecting shopping mall to spend their time. I am of the opinion that these days

youngers

are spending their time in purchasing and must change their

interest

towards other hobbies.

This

essay will discuss the cause of

this

act and

secondly

, essay will discuss the solution to overcome from

this

act

Suggestion

developing other hobbies.

To begin

with, there are

various cause

Suggestion

various causes

for pastime shopping.

Firstly

, due to the huge amount of pocket

money

with youngsters

encourage

Suggestion

encourages

them to spend it on weekend shopping.

Further

, the

fashion

trends attracts

Accept comma addition

trends, attracts

the youngers

Suggestion

the young

the younger

to purchase it to update themselves to the current

fashion

which

also

influence their peers to do the same.

For example

, The Maybelline newly launched products are

been

the state or fact of existing

being

purchased by the younger generation which explores that

youngers

reason by deduction; establish by deduction

infers

anglers

rangers

are

been

the state or fact of existing

being

attracted towards the trendy

fashion

and expending their large

money

on it.

However

, children

has

Suggestion

have

to divert their

interest

in other hobbies too,

such

as reading and art. These kind of hobbies encourages the kids to develop their skills and achieve

successful

Suggestion

success

future

Suggestion

the future

Further

, adolescent have to spend their leisure time in physical and mental activities and

also

parents should guide their children to use their pocket

money

on valuable

interest

For instance

, nowadays, children are encouraged to join

artificial intelligence course

Suggestion

an artificial intelligence course

which helps them in improving their skills and

also

accomplish in

scholar

Suggestion

scholarly

activities. To sum up, teenagers are attracted towards the

fashion

to modernise themselves by expending their large

money

on it. While, I believe

Suggestion

encouraging them to change their

interest

Suggestion

reading and art leads them to develop their skill set .

Submitted by kamalakumaran.s on Wed Mar 11 2020

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

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Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
16Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

270 words

4.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Shopping has become a new favorite pastime for the younger generation. Why is this the case? Should we encourage them to develop other hobbies too?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

In many countries crime is increasing. What are the main reasons for this? What can be done to improve the situation? Support your position with relevant examples and include your own experience.

Organising a large family celebration such as a wedding can often create problems. What can be the problems associated with organising a large family event and what solutions can you suggest?

People who go live in other countries should follow their customs and traditions. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that it would be better for large companies to move to regional areas outside large urban centres. Do you think advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

The tendency of news media to focus on problems and emergencies rather than good news has a negative effect on individuals and society. To what extent do you agree or disagree?