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Band 4

Children nowadays spend a great deal of time watching television. However, television cannot replace the book as a learning tool, which is why children are less well‐educated today. To what extent do you agree with this statement?

#children #time #television #book #tool #well‐educated
It has been argued that, recently youth spending number of hours
infront
Suggestion
in front
 of
TV
Suggestion
the TV
 has risen
instead
 of reading an educational book. Some are optimistic for
this
 trend while others are against it. In my opinion,
this
 trend is extremely dangerous for our society since youngsters are losing interest in education
which later in life
Suggestion
in later life which
 creates job insecurity and puts burden on economy for having too many unskilled workers.
To begin
 with, many youngsters depend on
TV
 programming to stay up-to-date with the worldly knowledge.
This
 is creating
society
Suggestion
a society
 of young people without ambition.
TV
 programming cannot replace mathematics, chemistry, and other important courses taught in
school
. According to a research in Seattle, children who spent 4 or more hours
infront
Suggestion
in front
 of
TV
Suggestion
the TV
 every day were less likely to have a stable job after finishing
school
 and less likely to have important life skills
such
 as financial management.
Thus
,
number
Suggestion
the number
 of hours children spent watching
TV
 should be monitored by parents to help kids realize
importance
Suggestion
the importance
 of education.
Furthermore
,
number
Suggestion
a number
 of students are focused on achieving the unrealistic lifestyle presented to them on
TV
 that they forget their educational responsibilities.
Percentage
Suggestion
The percentage
 of kids attending universities across the western world
has been declining
Suggestion
have been declining
 for decades now.
For instance
, only 30% of Germany’s high
school
 graduates are likely to attend universities,
hence
,
government
Suggestion
the government
 depends on importing skilled workers from other countries. If government can implement rules to promote educational programming on
TV
 to divert more interest for student into their
school
 work would go a long way not only for
individual
Suggestion
the individual
an individual
individuals
 but for the society.
Submitted by fame8686 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Educational tool
  • Documentaries
  • Passive consumption
  • Critical thinking
  • Imagination
  • Attention span
  • Literacy skills
  • Screen time
  • Parental guidance
  • Digital materials
  • Interactive learning
  • Multimedia resources
  • Cognitive development
  • Reading comprehension
  • Balanced approach
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