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Band 5

Essay using a computer every day can have more negative and positive effects on children. Do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays, the
computer
Use synonyms
 became a part of a human day to day life Which can useful to find information and communicate with people. Mostly, children addicted to using a
computer
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, and
Linking Words
also it became part
Suggestion
it also became part
 of school study. Generally, in the new syllabus have a subject called
computer
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 science. Socially, 90 per cent of children prefer to learn a
computer
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. To Continue, using a
computer
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 every day can have more negative and positive effects on children. Physically, children sit in one place and spend more time with a
Use synonyms
computer it
Accept comma addition
computer, it
 is an effect on the health and the mental
as a result
Linking Words
 of children became a robot and
also
Linking Words
 don’t have a feeling or emotion with family or society that became negative impact.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, using a
computer
Use synonyms
 make distance with refer a book. Mostly using
Use synonyms
computer
Suggestion
computers
a computer
the computer
 to make danger effects on children there are, use a
computer
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 for an illegal thing
such
Linking Words
 as money printing.
However
Linking Words
, children spent their time using social media through a
computer
Use synonyms
 resulting from children don’t have time to study.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, using a
computer
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 has positive effects on children. There are, it's very useful to get information and video related to study.
Therefore
Linking Words
, it will be help to learn very easily and clearly and
also
Linking Words
 the world run by modern technology.
Linking Words
Then as
Accept comma addition
Then, as
 human have to have at least basic knowledge about operating computers,
computer
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 because lots of companies store their data in a
computer
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. In the end, as a parent have the ability to control their kids from using a
computer
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,
otherwise
Linking Words
 there will take advantage to do the illegal things.
Linking Words
Therefore my
Accept comma addition
Therefore, my
 opinion is using a
computer
Use synonyms
 can have both negative and positive effects, but have maintained and focus on the right way
then
Linking Words
 it will make positive for children.

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Screen time
  • Sedentary lifestyle
  • Physical inactivity
  • Cognitive development
  • Internet addiction
  • Cyberbullying
  • Inappropriate content
  • Digital literacy
  • Virtual learning environments
  • Parental controls
  • Moderation
  • Online safety
  • Tech-savvy
  • E-learning
  • Information technology
  • Eye strain
  • Social skills
  • Multitasking
  • Interactive education
  • Health repercussions
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