IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Without capital punishment (the death penalty) our lives are less secure and crimes of violence increases capital punishment is essential to control violence in society. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

#punishment #death #penalty #lives #crimes #violence #increases #control #society
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Crime
Use synonyms
 in
society
Use synonyms
 is increasing day by day, the sense of fear is
also
Linking Words
pilling
a column of wood or steel or concrete that is driven into the ground to provide support for a structure
piling
 up among
socities
an extended social group having a distinctive cultural and economic organization
societies
sockets
 which is leading to a demand of capital
punishment
Use synonyms
 throughout the world. As far as my opinion is
concerned I
Accept comma addition
concerned, I
 believe that
death
Use synonyms
 sentence is not
necessary
Suggestion
necessarily
 in each
Use synonyms
crime but
Accept comma addition
crime, but
 in some
henious
extremely wicked, deeply criminal
heinous
 cases
death
Use synonyms
warrent
show to be reasonable or provide adequate ground for
warrant
 is
most appropriate solution
Suggestion
the most appropriate solution
.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, every individual has right to live its life,
comiting
perform an act, usually with a negative connotation
committing
crime
Use synonyms
 is always not
intentially
with intention; in an intentional manner
intentionally
 because sometimes
such
Linking Words
 circumstances arose around which
compells
force somebody to do something
compels
 the individual to do
unlawfull
not conforming to legality, moral law, or social convention
unlawful
 activity.
majority
Suggestion
Majority
 of minor crimes are
sitution
the general state of things; the combination of circumstances at a given time
situation
 based
such
Linking Words
 as
stealling
the act of taking something from someone unlawfully
stealing
 money, chain snatching, house robbery, and murder in self defence which are either due to financial problems or family disputes.
Last
Linking Words
 year, there was an article published in newspaper "
Society
Use synonyms
vs
Suggestion
Crime
Use synonyms
" which stated that 80-85 percent of crimes are due to
socail
relating to human society and its members
social
 considerations and their
impact
Use synonyms
 on
society
Use synonyms
 is extremely
negligeble
so small as to be meaningless; insignificant
negligible
. Individuals involved in
such
Linking Words
 crimes need proper
councelling
something that provides direction or advice as to a decision or course of action
counselling
 during their sentence term so that they can live socialized life when they get out of
bars
Suggestion
the bars
. On the flip side, strong message and sense of fear among criminals is necessary to curb the
henious
extremely wicked, deeply criminal
heinous
 crimes. The stringent laws along with the fear of capital
punishment
Use synonyms
 might create an atmosphere where a person would think about own life at stake before
comiting
perform an act, usually with a negative connotation
committing
 crimes
such
Linking Words
 as rape, honour killing and mob violence.
For instance
Linking Words
, the
crime
Use synonyms
 rate in Germany declined to nearly half from the time their government enacted new law which provides the
death
Use synonyms
 sentence as stringent
punishment
Use synonyms
 in cases that are extremely cruel and inhumane in nature. To conclude capital
punishment
Use synonyms
 is not the only solution to deal with each and every
crime
Use synonyms
, the nature and
impact
Use synonyms
 of the
crime
Use synonyms
 must be
eveluated
evaluate or estimate the nature, quality, ability, extent, or significance of
evaluated
 as the crimes which
ave
have or possess, either in a concrete or an abstract sense
have
no or
Accept comma addition
no, or
 minor
impact
Use synonyms
 on
society
Use synonyms
 must be dealt with
imprisonment but
Accept comma addition
imprisonment, but
 the
crime
Use synonyms
 that has far more
impact
Use synonyms
 on
society
Use synonyms
 in
such
Linking Words
 cases
death
Use synonyms
penality
the act of punishing
penalty
 would
be appropriate solution
Suggestion
be an appropriate solution
be appropriate solved
be appropriate solved solved
.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: