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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The table below shows the sales at a small restaurant in a downtown business district. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The table below shows the sales at a small restaurant in a downtown business district. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#sales #restaurant #downtown #business #district #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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The table illustrates weekly
sales
 at
small
Correct article usage
a small
show examples
resturant
Correct your spelling
restaurant
 in
downtown
Correct article usage
the downtown
show examples
 business district from
october
Change the capitalization
October
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 7th to
october
Change the capitalization
October
show examples
 13th.
Lunch's
Change noun form
Lunch
show examples
 sale was almost
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
 in
first
Correct article usage
the first
show examples
 two days of
this
 week, on
day
 one it was $2400 and $2450 on
day
 two.On
Correct your spelling
Wednesday
wednessday
Correct your spelling
Wednesday
, there was
good
Add an article
a good
the good
show examples
 hike in
sales
 with $2595 but got decreased on
following
Correct article usage
the following
show examples
day
 to $2375.On
friday
Change the capitalization
Friday
show examples
, the sale
elivated
Correct your spelling
elevated
 to $2500 but
droped
Correct your spelling
dropped
 on weekends to $1950 and $1550
repectively
Correct your spelling
respectively
.
Whereas
 when we look at the
sales
 of dinner time, it's been seen that there was a frequent raise in
sales
 on weekdays and experiencing
downfall
Add an article
a downfall
show examples
 in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
sales
of
Change preposition
at
show examples
 weekends.
First
Change the article
The first
show examples
day
 of the week started with $3623, got increased on
tuesday
Change the capitalization
Tuesday
show examples
 to $3850.There was no significant change in
sales
 of
next
day
 but on
thursday
Change the capitalization
Thursday
show examples
sales
 got reduced by $50.On
friday
Change the capitalization
Friday
show examples
 sale bumps up to $4350
whereas
,
at the end
 of
this
week
Add an article
the week
show examples
 it had a sharp drop of $2900 on
staturday
Correct your spelling
Saturday
Saturdays
 and $2450 on Sunday.
Submitted by rivanshiagarwal on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "whereas".
▼
Basic structure: Use less body paragraphs.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 67%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words sales, day with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "droped" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "go" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "go" was used 4 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • fluctuations
  • peak sales
  • troughs
  • seasonal adjustments
  • promotional impact
  • customer footfall
  • external factors
  • forecasting
  • performance analysis
  • trend analysis
  • sales metrics
  • business district
  • revenue streams
  • consumer behavior
  • market trends
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