IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people think that having people from different nationalities and cultural backgrounds living together in the same country makes the country develop faster. Do you agree?

#people #nationalities #backgrounds #country
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There is a line of thinking that states that a multicultural
country
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 can achieve a more rapid development. I agree that the different people with their culture and knowledge helps a
place
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 do grow. In
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first
Suggestion
the first place
place
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 when a
place
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 is closed to outside individuals, the local
place
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 maintains the same ideas and line of working. Keeping traditions and ideas is important, but with the introduce of
foreign
Suggestion
foreignness
 in the society, new ways of acting and working will be implemented as they know what is best in their original
country
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. A good example is the Canadian
labor
a social class comprising those who do manual labor or work for wages
labour
 market, because the
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country
Suggestion
country's
 population is low, they recruit people from other places
from
Suggestion
of
 the world, and
as a result
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, that improved the systems of working and very qualified employees help the companies to grow.
In addition
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, accepting families from other places around the globe will result in a cultural enrichment. That will lead to several changes in the local society, even if
this
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 could bring a bad side like bias from the local, other ways of living would be known.
For instance
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, in the beginning of the 20th century, Brazil has welcomed families from several different places like Italy, Germany and European east, and thanks to that, there was an increase of different physical types, habits and different foods. That
also
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 brought the
country
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 several industries that generated jobs that time and it is still generating. To conclude, the growing and development of a
country
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 can be a result of the insertion of different kinds of cultures, habits and new people in a local society.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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