Learning depends not upon the personality or the methodology of teacher, but rather on student's attitude on his or her own learning. Do you agree with this statement?

Most people argue that gaining
knowledge
relies on the
student
's
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
and not on the pedagogue’s nature or the way of teaching. In my opinion, I think it depends equally on both the instructor and the pupil because if either one
the
Change preposition
of the
show examples
two does not perform their duties properly
then
grasping
knowledge
gets affected. We cannot deny that in every phase of education, teachers play an important role in implanting
knowledge
in
students
. Instructors who are qualified and have influential
personality
Fix the agreement mistake
personalities
show examples
can teach better and encourage more
students
to gain an education effectively.
For example
,
if
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
a professor who is not punctual and never has any interactive sessions in classrooms will attract
less
Change the quantifier
fewer
show examples
students
towards the lecture than professors. Another consideration is the
learner
Change noun form
learner's
show examples
approach towards learning. Almost all the teachers put great
efforts
Fix the agreement mistake
effort
show examples
to educate
Change preposition
into educating
show examples
their
students
, but
for instance
, if the
student
is not willing to study and work harder
than
Correct your spelling
then
show examples
no matter how good the instructor is the
student
will not be able to gain
knowledge
. In conclusion, I believe strongly believe that acquiring education has two parts.
First,
having a good teacher with an effective teaching style and persuasive nature.
Second,
Student
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
towards getting
knowledge
.
Submitted by abihasalman on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
The essay does not fully address the prompt, the discussion around the pedagogue's nature and teaching method is not clearly presented. More detailed explanation and relevant examples of both perspectives are needed.
coherence cohesion
The essay demonstrates good progression and connection of ideas, with coherent and organized paragraphing. However, there is room for improvement in using linking words and phrases to improve cohesion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: