Some people state that the national teams and an individual sportsman and sportswomen should be financially sponsored by the government or non-government body. how far do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#people #teams #sportsman #sportswomen #government #non-government #body

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

It has been a trend for the

last

few decades that sportsmen and teams are sponsored by corporate bodies and/or

government

Correct article usage

the government

show examples

. With the increasing extent of financial sponsorship, controversies over their worthiness are

also

rising,

However

, there is nothing wrong in sponsoring them, provided the drawbacks are taken care of. There are plentiful benefits of sponsoring sportsmen financially.

First,

players

can use the money to buy expensive but useful and latest

sports

equipment that can help in enhancing their skills.

In addition

, there are many costly software programs that can be

then

Rephrase

apply

show examples

acquired to understand the game better and improve their performance.

Second,

with the help of finance, teams can hire doctors, physiotherapists, and

sports

psychologists. All these professional services are highly expensive but extremely essential to the team members for maintaining their physical fitness, improving

mental

Correct pronoun usage

their mental

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

attitude and expanding

professional

Correct pronoun usage

their professional

show examples

life.

Finally

this

money is a boon for upcoming

players

who do not have enough financial resources to support their

sports

activities.

On the other hand

, there are some loopholes in

this

process. To start with,

players

get handsome amounts as their match fees, prizes and other gifts for their participation in tournaments.

Next,

it is

also

seen that popular

sports

individuals earn millions out of private brand endorsement contracts and other events like inauguration ceremonies Com parties, cultural programs and so forth.

Finally

, companies focus only on the highly successful

player

Fix the agreement mistake

players

show examples

of popular

sports

Consequently

, other segments are completely neglected. In conclusion, I assert that if the authorities give desired importance and justice

all

Change preposition

to all

show examples

segments of

sports

, financial sponsorship can be a boon for the

players

Submitted by ronakadesara3448 on Wed Mar 11 2020

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion

Ensure that the main points are presented in a clear and coherent way. Consider structuring the essay with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.

task achievement

Address all parts of the task and provide clear, comprehensive ideas. Use relevant and specific examples to support your points.

lexical resource

Expand the range of vocabulary used and ensure that the word choice is appropriate for the context. Aim to use a variety of vocabulary to express ideas more precisely.

grammatical range

Pay attention to sentence structure, grammar, and punctuation. Aim to use a range of complex and simple sentences to convey ideas clearly and accurately.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

269 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

7
band
You have seen an advertisement in an Australian magazine for someone to live with a family for six months and look after their six year-old. Write a letter to the parent in your letter Explain why you would like the job Give details of why you would be suitable person to employ Say how you would spend your free time while you are in Australia
I am writing to you in regard to the advertising in the Australian magazine. I have read that you are looking for a babysitter for your six-year-old kid. I would be more than happy to go next week to your place to meet you and your family and have a chat.
4.5
band
People in some countries owning a home rather than renting one is considered very important.
It has been frequently argued that in the current period, few people protest that homeownership is egregious behaviour, it is not superior for children. However, many individuals argue that buying a house is a squander of money. I will shed light on my stance in the following essay.
6.5
band
Some people believe that in a city, the best way to travel is by car, while other people argue that bicycles are a better way of travelling in a city. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Few people believe that travelling the car is the ideal option to roam around the city, and other citizens trust that cycling is the best choice for travel in the town. This essay agrees that the cycle is the perfect selection to travel around the city.
7
band
Write about the following topic: Some people say it is important to keep your home and your workplace tidy, with everything organised and in the correct place. What is your opinion about this? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Some would argue that it's better to keep the places where you work or live clean. A proper environment may foster creativity and help keep you organized. I agree with this point of view, and this essay will provide supporting arguments.
8
band
Some think that residents should responsible for keeping their areas clean and tidy, while others say it is the government's responsibility. Discuss both views and state your own opinion.
A group of individuals present the view that residents have a personal obligation to maintain cleanliness and order in their own neighbourhoods, whereas others believe it is fundamentally the government's duty. I strongly agree with the former opinion.

Some people state that the national teams and an individual sportsman and sportswomen should be financially sponsored by the government or non-government body. how far do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Fully explain your ideas

People in some countries owning a home rather than renting one is considered very important.

Some people believe that in a city, the best way to travel is by car, while other people argue that bicycles are a better way of travelling in a city. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Write about the following topic: Some people say it is important to keep your home and your workplace tidy, with everything organised and in the correct place. What is your opinion about this? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Some think that residents should responsible for keeping their areas clean and tidy, while others say it is the government's responsibility. Discuss both views and state your own opinion.