Nowadays, it is possible to move ocean creatures from their natural habitat at sea and have them relocated to marine parks for the purpose of education and entertainment. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages? Explain your reasons and support them with specific examples.

#move #ocean #creatures #habitat #sea #marine #parks #purpose #education #entertainment #development #support

Nowadays, wildlife sanctuaries and

marine

parks are well established, and the administrators are very keen about making the best natural place for any wildlife animal. It has become more evident that we could be able to even make the facilities adaptable to

ocean

creatures as well.

As a result

, we could be able to transfer

marine

animals to their artificial facilities for knowledge and recreational purpose. In my opinion, I think that there are more advantages than disadvantages

Suggestion

this

process.

Firstly

, the disadvantages are relocation of the natural

habitants

the type of environment in which an organism or group normally lives or occurs

habitats

of certain species might decrease the longevity of their

time

period.

This

is because, they have originally involved deeply

Suggestion

certain weather conditions, their flora and fauna available to them. So, anything

that is

artificial could not entirely

fulfill

put in effect

fulfil

fulfilled

its needs and

as a

result it

Accept comma addition

result, it

could end up in a negative position.

For example

, take the case of sharks, they are habited to warm temperatures, and their natural food appetite is

also

very large. In

marine

parks they could not completely supply its

needs thereby

Accept comma addition

needs, thereby

decreasing the life span of the sharks. At the same

time

, their freedom is

also

limited resulting

Accept comma addition

limited, resulting

in much more detrimental

effects

Suggestion

effect

On the contrary

, the advantages are, there is more scope for people to gain more knowledge about the

marine

animals, how they behave to certain conditions, what are the genetics they are inducing. To answer all these questions, people must go every

time

ocean

Suggestion

the ocean

and get the results from there, that could be much more hazardous.

For example

, a group of students are interested in the research of sharks, so taking them to a

marine

park is easier than taking them to the

ocean

and risking their lives. At the same

time

this

could help them to cut the cost, the risk involved and could be used by the public for recreational purpose. To conclude, it would be painful to make the

ocean

creators suffer for our

needs but

Accept comma addition

needs, but

it would be the best choice to transfer to them to make our lives easier and safer.

Submitted by saeeujwal2 on Thu Mar 12 2020

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

345 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Include an introduction and conclusion

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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